Fun Times in Phoenix
by snoopykid
Summary: Once again with nothing to do at the Cullen house, Charlie stops by to drop off a package for Bella. When Bella opens it there is a note and…you guessed it, videos! This story has more drama, espionage, rebellion, and most importantly hilarity. R
1. Dr Phil?

So this is the first chapter of the new story in the "Fun Times" series. I hope you all enjoy this story and remember the classic warning about insanity and all that jazz. I would also like to point out that I was watching Madea Goes to Jail and this is where I got this idea. With the exception of the ending that is. So I no own Twilight or Madea or the kind therapist doctor or a Han Glider

**Summary**: It's around the holidays and once again with nothing to do at the Cullen house, Charlie stops by to drop off a package for Bella. When Bella opens it there is a note and…you guessed it, videos! What was Bella really like in Phoenix? Why does therapy seem like fun now? Why am I asking you? This story has more drama, espionage, rebellion, and most importantly hilarity that will knock your fluffy bunny socks off! R&R

**Fun Times in Phoenix.**

**Bella POV-**

I watched as the snowflakes fall outside the window. Jake and Nessie huddled by the TV, but sadly nothing is on for them to watch.

"Why do they have to show stale Christmas specials?" Emmett yelled flicking through the channels, "I mean come on there are only so many times that we can watch the freak with the red nose!"

"HEY! I resent that!" Jasper yelled back at him

"What it's true…seriously boohoo poor freak reindeer that gets teased and whoopee doo he saves Christmas. Big whoop!" Emmett said giving up as he turned the TV off.

"Wow someone is a Scrooge today." Jake muttered and Nessie giggled. I giggled too as Edward kissed my head.

Everything seemed to simmer down since the Rocky Horror incident, which was good. We all vowed to never watch another home movie for a very long time.

Just then we heard a hum of an engine come up the driveway and everyone that got involved with the Christmas special argument stopped. That was when Charlie's cruiser came into view.

Carlisle and Esme looked at us and asked, "What did you all do this time?"

We all started to sputter when the bell rang…wow some vamps we are.

I answered the door and saw Charlie holding a box. He smiled gratefully as Edward snuck around to take the box out of his arms, "Thanks Edward, now Bells I can fully greet you. How have you been Bells?" He asked and gave me one of his awkward hugs.

"Ok Dad…would you like to come in?" I asked

"Nah I'm good. Billy and I are going ice fishing by a lake that he just found. But yea I got that thing today and noticed it was meant for you. The return address is from Phoenix so I figured it was from one of your friends. Well have fun and see you soon. By the way Renee says hi." He hugged me again and walked to the cruiser and I watched him go out of sight…that was when the final sentence hit me: From Phoenix. Crap!

"Wait don't open-"

"YES BYE BYE BORDOM!" Emmett's voice rang through the halls.

"Sorry love I tried to stop them but-" Edward said not looking the slightest bit sorry.

"Here mommy there was a note." Nessie handed me the note and I saw it was from Stacy and read:

_Dear Izzy,_

_Sup Gurl! Way to keep in touch! Well anyway I heard you found yourself a man from __**YOUR MOM**__! Really Izzy a simple e-mail would have been nice…but noooo too busy in your love life to even think of remembering your friends…for shame._

_So in hopes you remember here is a belated wedding gift for you…have fun!_

_Love,_

_Stacy_

_P.S You will thank me_

I let out a growl, "We are not watching these."

"Yes we are!" There was a chorus of responses even from Esme and Carlisle

"But we agreed that-"

Emmett strode up to me and placed an arm around my shoulder, "See the thing that you have not learned yet is that we Cullens are bad a sticking to agreements…"

"Especially when it involves our favorite sister." Alice finished with a smile

I was screwed five ways to Sunday on this one as Nessie pulled out a video labeled, "Izzy's Han Gliding Therapy."

Here we go again.

I did not want to do this but the odds of me getting out of this were next to nothing. Hey at least I can give them a warning right?

"Guys can I just say that-" I got interrupted by Rose.

"No now shut up Bella." She said as the tape was put into the VCR.

"Fine. Edward do not go into shock again ok? Promise me?" I begged him.

Edward stared and said, "Why would I go into shock?"

"You'll see love…you will shortly see."

Now everyone gave me a wary look as the TV fuzzed and the tape began.

_I looked to be about 16 and dressed in ripped black cargo pants and a "My Chemical Romance" t-shirt. I also wore a black leather jacket and work boots. Crazy since it was hot in Phoenix, but also these were my rebel days._

"_Stacy can you turn the damn camera off already?" I growled at Stacy who was holding the camera._

"_Nope. This is classic. I knew that one day your mom would send you to therapy for anger management…especially after you blew up at the judge." Stacy laughed._

_I growled and walked into the room followed by Stacy who entered the closet. Just as the doctor came into the room. _

"IS THAT DR. PHIL?" Emmett shouted/asked

"Therapy love?" Edward asked

"Judge?" Jake asked

"Anger Management?" Esme asked

I didn't say anything, but thought of how this is going against patient confidentiality and how is Emmett the only smart one who noticed that therapist is Dr. Phil?

"_I told them I didn't need to come here and see you, okay?" I growled at the doctor._

"_Well, you know, I don't usually see people individually. I saw the videotape of you getting arrested and I thought...I've got to see this kid," He sighed and then started the session, "You can't think what you did was okay."_

"_You don't know what happened." I said getting a little bit irritated._

"_What do you mean? I saw it on tape. I saw you forklift the lady's car...out of a parking space!" He said astounded._

"Wait what?" Everyone yelled.

"Mommy you got arrested?" Nessie yelled at me

"You fork lifted a lady's car?" Carlisle was amazed at me.

I shrugged, "I wanted to warn you guys but noooo you did not want to listen. Besides this is no big deal. The car chase is even more epic and amazing."

They just stared at me.

"_You're talking about that time. I didn't know what you were talking about. So, they had that on video too? Well, you know what, that woman just..." I shook my head, "I've been riding in that parking lot...my air conditioner doesn't work in my 1993 Saturn and I was driving around and could not get a parking spot. There she was, zoomed in there, knew I was waiting for that spot. What else was I supposed to do?" I asked. Silent giggles could be heard but we did not pay attention._

_Dr. Phil looked amazed with a look that said 'is this girl serious?' then he stated the obvious, "Well, you go on to another space. Do you have to be in control all the time?"_

"_No, I don't have to be in control. That was my parking spot. I wasn't going to another space because I drove for like five minutes looking for a damn space, besides that was the closest to the door and that's the one I wanted." I concluded proud of my reasoning. I sat with a triumphant smile on my face with my arms crossed._

_Dr. Phil sighed and said, "Other people want stuff too. It's not just about you. It's not just about you all the time."_

_I groaned, "In my world, it's about me. This is Izzy's world. It's about me, Dr. Phil."_

Everyone now looked at me.

"What?" I asked, "It's true."

"Bella it is not always about you." Alice said

"Really? Cuz I can fork lift your pretty little yellow Porsche." I said smugly

"No not my baby!" Alice cried as if she was told that Louis Vuitton was no longer being made.

"And they say I am shallow." Rose muttered

I just smiled.

"_Do you get angry when you feel out of control?" Dr. Phil asked _

"_I'm never angry. I keep telling people I am not angry, okay?" I said frustrated, "Somebody do something to me, I do something. You don't bother me, I don't bother you."_

_Dr. Phil nodded his head and asked, "So just for the record you weren't angry when you flipped over this car?"_

_I nodded, "I was calm and cool as a cucumber. I was sitting there smoking a cigarette."_

"You smoked?" Jasper asked

"Oh hell yea! You could not possibly think I was a perfect angel did you?" I asked smiling

"You know there is something called lung cancer right?" Carlisle asked

"Yup but hey live for the moment you know." I said

"Bella what am I to do with you?" Edward asked

I again smiled.

"_Are you crazy?" Dr. Phil finally asked_

"_A little bit." I admitted _

"_I got a question for you." He stated_

"_I got a question too." I stated back_

"_What about your childhood?" He asked ready to take notes_

_I smirked and shot back, "What about your childhood?"_

_He scolded me, "Talking about my childhood is not gonna help your anger."_

_I got annoyed, "Why must I keep saying this? I keep saying I'm not angry. But you keep insisting I am."_

"_Are you happy to be talking to me?" _

"_To tell you the truth I would much rather be at the casino playing blackjack or something. But they told me I have to see you. So I'm here." I said grudgingly _

"_Why?" He asked smirking thinking that he got a rise out of me._

"_Because the court made me." I said in a 'duh factor' voice._

"_You forklift a woman's car out of the parking lot. Does that seem reasonable to you?" He asked in a disbelieving voice_

"_She took the parking spot." I fired back_

"_It isn't your parking spot." He said_

"_Yes, it was."_

"_Did it have your name on it?"He asked_

"_It had handicap. That matches what I had in my car. She took it with her little convertible_

_so I lifted it, flipped it." I replied_

"Why were you handicap?" Esme asked

"Uhm…because…" I started to say

"Because why?" Esme asked back

I couldn't answer her.

"_Well, yeah, I believe the handicapped part. I got that." He said in a obvious voice._

"_What are you trying to say? Something's wrong with me? Did you see me walk in here? I'm fine." I was insulted by a fifty year old crack pot therapist._

"_What are you doing in the handicapped space?" He asked_

"_Because it was closer to the door. Duh!" I said_

"_What?" _

"_It's closer to the door." I repeated slowly_

"_They always leave the handicap close to the door." He said_

"_That's why I take it." I said as if it was the most normal thing in the world to do._

"_Do you feel like you always have to get even?"_

"_Hell, yeah." _

"_Why do you always have to get even? Why can't you just let it roll off like water off a duck's back?"_

"_Because I am not a damn duck. That's why!" I yelled_

"_You don't have to attack people." He said _

"_Somebody do something to you, you do something to you. The Bible said in second Deutoronomo, the book of Jericho that: 'The eye for a tooth, a tooth for the people. If everybody got the eye, punch them in it.'" I recited _

"Bella I am offended right now. I am a preacher's son and there is no way that is in the Bible." Carlisle said

"Hey I never stated that I read it." I responded

"But you just said that you quoted that from the Bible. Seriously Bella does that seem right to you?"

"And allow me to ask do you really want to go all therapist on me?" I asked

Carlisle wisely shut his mouth, "I thought so."

"_What?" It was clear that the good doctor was confused_

"_I can tell you don't read the Bible. Bible say, 'Turn the other cheek'. Somebody hit that cheek, turn the other. You have two cheeks. How many you gonna let them hit before you whoop their ass?" I asked_

"_I don't think you have to whoop their ass. It's not about ass-whooping. You don't open up a can of whoop-ass on everybody that you meet. You go with the flow." _

_I got fed up and walked over to the window, "Ok I am done listening to this nonsense. Tell the judge anything you want because this is not working." I opened the window and stood on the fire escape._

"_Wait we are not done! Do not jump!" Dr. Phil shouted_

"_Cyea doc!" I ripped my jacket off to reveal Han Gliding wings on my back and jumped. I was flying over the office. Dr. Phil fell unconscious on to the floor._

_Stacy came out of the closet and turned to face the camera so we saw her face, "And that is how to escape from therapy." _

Now all eyes were on me. Edward's especially was giving me is analytical face as he tried to decipher my actions, "Why love?"

I shrugged, "Well it was no big deal. I may have had a wild side but I didn't care. Phil lived as you can clearly see so no big."

"Why was Phil involved anyway?" Jake asked

"Well again wild child. Besides my track record was kind of long and ridiculous."

"Does Charlie know?" Jasper asked the million dollar question.

"Surprisingly no."

Everyone fell silent and Alice pulled out another video, "Sticking to the Status Quo…NOT!"

"Get ready for a high school musical," I said.


	2. I want you to want me

Well thank you to all those that placed this story on alert and favorites. Also cookies to you who have reviewed so far. I hope you are enjoying this so far. I do not own "I Want You to Want Me' that is all Cheap Trick.

**Fun Times in Phoenix.**

**Nessie POV-**

Ok so it was now official…Mommy is crazy. Who knew? Well I guess mommy did try and warn us.

Everyone fell silent when the video ended and Aunt Alice pulled out another video, "Sticking to the Status Quo…NOT!"

I wonder why I do not like where this is headed? I mean come on this is mom we are talking about how much worse could it possibly get besides making the great Dr. Phil faint.

"Get ready for a high school musical," Mom said with a grin. Ok that grin is rather creepy, but still must be opened minded…I leaned into Jake and the video started.

"_Stacy why are you filming this? This is supposed to be a secret meeting." A pale boy who had jet black hair and sunglasses spoke._

_They looked like they were in a dark room with minimal light. If it wasn't for the camera light I would have no clue what was going on._

"_Because, Chase, I am the record keeper that's why." Stacy spoke._

_Chase slapped his forehead and sighed, "You are supposed to write stuff down…what if the enemy got a hold of your stupid tape?"_

"_Oh Chase let her have her fun," Chase turned to see a, what boys would classify her as hot, girl. Then I realized that it was mom._

"_Ok baby whatever you say." He pulled her close and kissed her._

"WHAT THE HELL BELLA?" Daddy shouted causing everyone to jump, "YOU SAID THAT YOU NEVER HAD A BOYFRIEND!"

"Chill Edward he was my first boyfriend…in fact my first love…" Seeing the hurt, pain, and scowl on Daddy's face she automatically said, "Well I am with you right?"

He nodded but still looked hurt, "But what if you weren't with me? What if you never came to Forks and were still in Phoenix? Then what about him?"

Mom looked at the tape as Chase's face appeared back on the television. He took off his sunglasses and we saw his blue serene eyes and he had a bright smile. In fact I could not help but notice how mom looked in the video, happy, joyful, and carefree; almost like she is with Daddy. Then when I looked at her now, I could not help but notice the look of guilt and sadness come across her face…I wonder what was going on in her head.

Daddy nodded as if agreeing with me and paused the tape. Everyone else who was ignoring the communication between them snapped to see who had the tape.

"Dude seriously? They were planning on infiltrating the stupid play that decided to become a movie! They were about to sing the best part about something to do with 'sticking to the status quo!'" Uncle Emmett yelled at Daddy which earned him a smack on the head from Aunt Rose.

"Shut up!" She looked at Mom and Dad and said, "What happened?"

Daddy growled and rewind the tape so that Chase's smiling face showed, "He happened."

Mom winced and everyone noticed, "What's wrong Bells?" Aunt Alice asked

Jasper winced, "So much pain and sadness from Bella. What's up sis?"

Esme looked at her, "Bella honey?"

Bella shook her head, "Edward just play it please."

"No I am not going to play it until you tell us what is wrong." Daddy said or rather growled

"I already told you it does not matter. I married you, I chose you! Damn it I risked my life to have a child with you!" I winced as she pointed to me.

"But there must have been something going on with you and this guy! You said he was your first love!" Daddy yelled.

Mom sighed angrily and got up, "I'll be right back."

She ran out of the house and we all looked toward Alice and she shrugged, "Do not look at me guys she is making snap decisions."

When she came back she had a box in her hand. It was a medium sized box that was made out of wood and had an intricate design of a swan inside a heart, "This is my memory box. Chase made it for me in woodshop when we first started going out." She smiled sadly.

I took the box from her and lifted the latch we all saw pictures, news paper clippings about the 'Freedom Fighters', and a cassette tape. I could not help but notice in the pictures how happy mommy looked, "Who is he mom?"

"Yea Bells he seems to be a nice guy. How come you never mentioned him?" Aunt Alice asked.

Mom's face faltered a bit as she looked back to the TV at his face. Sighing she said, "He is actually one of the many reasons as to why I never talk about Phoenix much. In fact it is why I left Phoenix in the first place."

"But you said that you left to let your mom and Phil to have some privacy and freedom," Daddy said then his face took a look of horror, "He didn't-"

Aunt Rose growled knowing what Daddy was about to mention and then they all growled…including Jake. I have never seen my family so upset, including Grandma and Grandpa.

"No Edward! Chase would never do that to me! He loved me!" Mom's face was sheer agony as she emphasized the past tense of the word loved.

Before anyone could open their mouths to ask the question we all wanted the answer to she stood up, "I kept thinking about the day over and over again. What could I have done? What could I have said to keep him with me? The video that we were watching took place about a week after he asked me out…actually more like sang." She smiled at the end recalling the memory. She went over to the box and took out a video. Her smile brightened as she read the title.

Ejecting the tape we were watching she replaced it and said, "Here this is the start of where everything began."

We watched looking very interested:

"_Come on Bella!" Stacy's voice came from behind the camera._

_There was a girl with blonde hair walking next to mom shaking her head, "Great another year and another crappy lunch period. Why do we have to have first lunch?"_

_Mom sighed, "Because Nicole we do; besides this person here with the camera makes it even worse. Did you have to give a camera for her birthday?" _

"_Hey do not hate the camera! Besides think of this as an electronic year book so we can look back decades from now and laugh at our stupidity." _

_Nicole and Mom hit their heads._

"This was the beginning of eighth grade, first day actually." Mom explained

"But when does this Chase come in?" Daddy asked impatiently

"Chill Edward." Mom said.

Daddy fumed.

_Sitting at the cafeteria table Mom and Nicole ate their lunch and Stacy suddenly whispered, "Hey Bells look…Chase is staring at you," Stacy said in a mocking tone_

_Mom's face looked mortified, "Well don't stare back."_

"_Come on hun take a chance. Everyone knows that you liked him since sixth grade. Besides the same goes for him. Apparently word has it he turned down every girl except you so that should mean he really likes you…he is still staring." Nicole teased back. _

"_Oh my god he is walking over here!" Stacy shouted _

"_Shut up!" Mom yelled_

"_Excuse me Bella?" Sure enough there he was: the dark jet black hair and blue serene looking eyes himself: Chase._

"_Hi Chase. What's up?" Mom asked her voice cracking. _

_He smiled a smile that could make your heart melt, "I was wondering if I could borrow you for a moment." _

"_Sure." Mom says shyly and he grabbed her hand and they walked over to his table. _

_He winked at his friends and stood on the table then out of nowhere one of his friends pulled out a microphone and he tapped it and said, "Attention Attention please!" _

_Mom's face went red as the cafeteria went silent to stare at him as he continued, "There is a special girl who has captured my interest for two years and I want to know how I felt about her. Isabella Swan this is for you."_

_He cleared his throat as another one of his friends pulled out a stereo and he started to sing:_

_**I want you to want me.  
I need you to need me.  
I'd love you to love me.  
I'm beggin' you to beg me.**_

I want you to want me.  
I need you to need me.  
I'd love you to love me.  
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.  
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me.  


_He held out his hand and Mom took it. Together they sang the next verse:_

_**Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
**_

_Mom took the mike from him and started to sing the next part of the song:_

_**I want you to want me.  
I need you to need me.  
I'd love you to love me.  
I'm beggin' you to beg me.  
I'll shine up the old brown shoes, put on a brand-new shirt.  
I'll get home early from work if you say that you love me. **_

_They came together again and started to sing the rest of the song:__****_

Didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?  
Feelin' all alone without a friend, you know you feel like dyin'.  
Oh, didn't I, didn't I, didn't I see you cryin'?

I want you to want me.  
I need you to need me.  
I'd love you to love me.  
I'm beggin' you to beg me.  
I want you to want me.  
I want you to want me.  
I want you to want me.  
I want you to want me.

"_I love you Isabella," Chase said into the mike and asked, "Will you go out with me?"_

_The cafeteria was silent and mom took the mike and said, "Yes." _

_And they kissed._

"_WOOOOT BELLS!" Cheered Nicole and Stacy and their faces came on the camera, "We did it! We got the clueless people together! We win!"_

We all looked at Mom now to see that if she could cry, she would be crying now. Daddy's expression softened and he hugged her, "Love I am sorry."

Mom muffled in his shirt what sounded like 'it's ok'.

"So what was the big deal?" Uncle Emmett asked, "The dude asked…more like sang to get you to go out with him…and then what?"

Aunt Rose did not smack him on the head that time…instead she nodded along with everyone else.

Mom shook her head and fell silent and said, "I'd rather not say."

"Can we watch more then?" Uncle Em asked hoping that it would cheer mom up.

Mom gulped, "Sure." Snuggling close to Daddy he picked the next video, "The Great Train Race."

Mom smiled, "This one is good."

But we could tell it wasn't her true smile. It was a fake. Maybe the answer lies within these tapes somewhere.


	3. Trains and Music Videos

Sorry that this took awhile to post…I had nothing funny to add but now I do. So read and enjoy!

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Edward's POV-**

Ok so my wife had another lover before me…she had another lover…she kind of lied to me…does anyone see anything wrong with this picture?

"What's so fun about this video?" I asked her trying not to seem jealous. Damn Chase…what did he have that I didn't…damn I am acting like a stupid fricken teenager.

Bella smiled sadly and said, "Well my Saturn kind of broke down and we were going out for a year. For my birthday my mom brought a rundown car and because Chase's dad is, or at least he was when I last spoke with him, a mechanic. They worked on fixing it up and he took me out on a date and well…the video explains the rest."

I sighed, "So you let them get a car for you yet when we wanted to retire your truck you through a fit."

"Hey there was nothing wrong with my truck ok…besides I did not know about this." She said annoyed.

"Yet if I went ahead and did that you would have flipped shit!" I yelled. Now I hardly curse but she is impossible sometimes…what did he have that I don't?

Just as Bella was about to retort Esme separated the both of us, "Edward Anthony Masen Cullen enough! Isabella Marie Swan Cullen you too! This is enough. Now no more arguing or cursing. Understand?" We glared at each other just as everyone hid to hide their snickers. We nodded when Esme started to growl at us and she said, "Emmett play the tape." Emmett nodded and put the tape in.

"_Chase where are we going and why must you film me?" Bella asked while they were walking in what looks like the park._

"_Because I love you and I want to capture celebrating your birthday with you." He said. _

_Bella stopped and smiled, "Shall I pose director?" _

_He laughed and said just as jokingly, "No love because then I am afraid that I will have to beat up the camera."_

_Bella laughed and they kept on walking until they reached a secluded dirt path. You could see the railroad tracks on the hill, "Bells come here." Chase put the camera down so that now he was in view. Bella walked up to him and placed her arms around his neck._

"_What is it?" she asked him._

"_I have a surprise for you," He said._

"_You know that I do not care for surprises." Bella frowned._

"_Well trust me you need this one…badly. Besides it's for your birthday…please love. I worked hard on this one…well actually my dad helped and your mom paid for it. So please for me?" He begged._

"Bella how can you say no to that face?" Alice asked, _wow he could give Edward a run for his money._ I shot her a look that said to shut it.

"I couldn't." Bella responded sadly.

"You really loved him didn't you?" Rosalie stated; _I do not need to be Jasper to see that she is hurting. _I looked at Bella's eyes and I saw the hurt that still lingered in their golden depths.

Bella did not answer this time but focused on the movie.

_Bella sighed, "Ok anything for you." They kissed and when they broke apart he turned her around and covered her eyes._

"_Do you trust me?" He asked_

"_Yes."_

"_Then walk." He said. They walked a few more feet and in view there was a Black 2004 GT Mustang with a red bow on top, "Ok love ready?"_

_Bella nodded and he removed his hands from her eyes. She let out an ear shattering scream, "HOLY CRAP! OH MY GOD!" _

_He grabbed the camera ran to catch up to her by the car, "Do you like it?" He asked_

"_Do I like it? I love it!" She spun around and tackled him to the ground sending the camera out of his hands so that they were in the frame on view once again. _

_She was on top of him and started to give him kisses, "Thank you so much!" _

_He laughed in between kisses, "Ok love you are welcome, but remember your mom paid for it and dad helped with the paint and fixing."_

"_Let's drive it!" Bella laughed and helped him up. He grabbed the camera and they got in the car._

_The interior is leather and black and Bella turned it on just as there was another sound…the train whistled. _

"_Oh oh! Let's race the train!" Bella yelled excitedly, "Let's see how fast this puppy can go!"_

"_Uhm…love shouldn't you drive the car first to get used to it?" Chase asked, "Besides you had sugar in the park too remember?"_

"_Who cares? Come on! Ready set…" Bella looked behind her as the train passed, "Go! Race the train, race the train!"_

_The engine was loud and then she gunned it. Within five minutes the train was out of sight, "I BEAT THE TRAIN! WOOOOO! COME ON CHASE JOIN IN!"_

_He was silent then started in, "WE BEAT THE TRAIN! WE BEAT THE TRAIN!"_

Once the video ended Bella was laughing, "That was a fun day."

"What happened after that?" Nessie asked

"Well we went back home to his house and had a party. That was it." She said

Jake went through the box and found another video, "Music Video Awesomeness."

Bella slouched, "Uhm…yea let's just say that…well…I got nothing."

"Bella…" Carlisle prompted

"Ok well it was around Halloween and you see the thing is we kind of started a band. Well we were messing around and Rocky Horror came up. So we saw it and this is what resulted…Stacy added the effects, and by the way yes we did this the same night we saw it…I was Janet of course and well remember Rocky…well that was Chase. Nicole and Paul were Magenta and Riff-Raff then we had Clint was Dr. Frank n Furter and Sarah was Columbia. Oh and speaking of Stacy she was Eddie" Bella explained.

We all did an eye twitch…just when we thought Rocky Horror was over with it pops up…great.

**Alice POV-**

Just as Jake was about to place the video in Bella said, "Wait! One more thing…" She turned to Edward and said, "I will admit that there are like 'suggestions' in this video that may, for the lack of a better word, piss you off badly ok so there is your warning…I do not want to hear a single growl out of you." Edward nodded and Bella said, "Ok you can put the video in."

_The video fuzzed and it started. Bella, who was in a white bra and a pathetic white mini skirt started to sing the first part, she leaned against Chase who was in a gold Speedo in a very suggestive manner: _

_**I was feeling done in, couldn't win  
I'd only ever kissed before.  
I thought there's no use getting into heavy petting  
It only leads to trouble and seat wetting...**_

_Chase grinned and Bella began to sing again this time leading Chase on and the gang in the background cheered:_

_**Now all I want to know is how to go  
I've tasted blood and I want more  
I'll put up no resistance, I want to stay the distance  
I've got an itch to scratch, I need assistance:**_

_**Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty**__**  
**__**Thrill me chill me fulfil me**__**  
Creature of the night.**_

_Chase escaped her and she followed and cornered him and rubbed his chest:__****_

Then if anything grows while you pose  
I'll oil you up and rub you down  
And that's just one small fraction of the main attraction  
You need a friendly hand and I need action...

Toucha toucha toucha touch me, I wanna be dirty  
Thrill me chill me fulfil me  
Creature of the night.

_Chase literally took her and the faces transparented on the screen and repeated creature of the night. And the blanket was thrown of them._

We just stared at Bella who could have blushed would've.

"Wow…" was all Emmett could say.

"I got to say that was right on track with the movie…awesome!" Jake cheered

"Very…nice?" Esme said

"Yea very interesting." Jasper said

"Did you choose the attire again?" I asked

"Yes I did." Bella responded

The box was passed to Rose and she pulled out another video, "Hey there is nothing written on this one."

"Really?" Bella took the video and said, "that is not like Stacy she normally labels them…"

"Maybe it's blank?" Edward suggested though I could hear a slight happiness in his tone.

"I do not know…this is odd."

"Can we play it anyway…just to be sure?" Esme asked

Bella shrugged and placed it in.


	4. The Accident

Sorry that this took awhile to post…if this chapter is sad then I am sorry, I was feeling depressed so because this is the story I am currently working on I took it out on this. So yea…R&R

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Bella POV-**

The box was passed to Rose and she pulled out another video, "Hey there is nothing written on this one."

"Really?" I took the video and said, "That is not like Stacy she normally labels them…"

"Maybe it's blank?" Edward suggested though I could hear a slight happiness in his tone.

"I do not know…this is odd."

"Can we play it anyway…just to be sure?" Esme asked

I shrugged and placed it in.

_It was dark out, the only light available was the one dim light from the camera. Chase was driving his convertible, I was in the passenger seat, Nicole, Stacy, and Clint were squeezed in the back seat. Stacy was recording. We were singing to Journey's 'Don't Stop Believing'. _

_When the song ended we all cheered, "We rule!" _

"_Did you have fun?" Chase turned to look at me._

_I nodded pulling out a chain, on it was a ring. It was clear that it was a male ring and had an amethyst stone. I turned it over and read the inscription, "Together Always, Love C C K."_

_He smiled and pulled out a chain that had a smaller ring on it and said, "Yours Forever, Love B M S."Smiling he said, "I love you," _

"_I love you too." I replied back. _

_He took his eyes off the road and kissed me._

"_Ew! Can't you wait until you're alone?" Nicole asked_

"_Aw I am glad I got this on tape! Love fest coming home from the beginning of the year carnival!"Stacy cheered_

"_Ok I am loving the love fest, but dude if you wanted a make out session then I would have driven my own car." Clint said._

_We laughed._

"No," I breathed…I remembered this night. Phoenix High School just had their carnival and while we were there the sophomores had picked up their class ring. Chase and I exchanged our rings, "No please we have to stop it."

"Bella?" Edward asked, "What is it?"

"Please stop it…stop the tape." I begged. Why would she film this? Why? I gripped Edward's shirt as the damn tape continued to play.

_Just then we were coming up to the railroad tracks when the car stalled, "Damn this piece of shit! Come on! Come on!" Chase cursed._

"_Pump the gas." I suggested._

"_What do you think I am doing Bells? The piece of shit won't start!" Chase sighed aggravated, "God damn Bobby I am going to kill him!"_

"_Well calm down you think that cursing at it and getting worked up will help?" I fired back my good mood suddenly gone._

_Right at that moment the railroad crossing signal started to ding, "Chase hurry up." Stacy panicked _

_Chase started to get flustered and he kept trying to get the car started. Now everyone started to panic._

"_Chase come on!" Nicole yelled_

"_Forget! Let's get out of here!" Clint yelled opening the car door._

_We all ran from the car just as the lights and whistle of the train came close, "Wait!" Chase yelled._

_We stopped to see Chase run back toward the car. He was getting something out of the glove compartment._

"_CHASE!" I yelled and our eyes met. _

_There was a bright light, smash, and screeching as I yelled his name over and over again. The camera was thrown to the ground and we all were in the frame as I started to run toward the accident and was tackled by Stacy, Nicole, and Clint._

"_CHASE!" I screamed one final time as the camera battery showed on the screen and it stopped. _

I was sobbing. I held my torso and leaned into Edward, "I should have held on to him! I should have stopped him from going into the damn car!"

I was aware that everyone around me was sobbing. Nessie and Edward hugged me as I cried.

"I'm sorry love. I am sorry. I did not know; shhh. It's ok love…its' ok," Edward started to hum my familiar lullaby.

After a few minutes Emmett asked the question I hoped would not come up, "What happened after that?"

Once I settled down I took a shaky unneeded breathe, "Emmett I'd rather not talk about it." In fact I stood up, "I need to hunt and clear my head."

"I'll come with you." Edward stood up but I pushed him back down, "I need to be alone for a little bit."

"No Bella I-"

"Please Edward…I promise I won't do anything reckless." I said firmly.

**Esme POV-**

I watched as my daughter and son went back and forth until Bella said, "Please Edward…I promise I won't do anything reckless."

Edward gave in but I could see the reluctance in his eyes, "Fine. But call me if you need me ok?" Bella nodded and ran out the door.

I leaned into Carlisle, "That girl has had so much to deal with, it's unbelievable."

"I feel like such an ass for flipping out like that." Edward said ashamed. I did not even bother scolding him for his language.

"Well should we watch more? I kind of don't really want to at the moment." Jasper said as Alice leaned into him.

"Why don't we take a break?" Carlisle sighed and we just sat.

Nessie and Jake started to look through the box. We all then got on the floor and helped them shift through stuff. There were letters, articles, and pictures.

"Hey look at this." Rose pulled out an article…It was Chase's obituary and despite our better judgment we read:

_Chase Clark Knight, 16, Phoenix__, died on Thursday, Sept. 11, at his home. Born in Phoenix, he was the son of Marie Alice Clark and Nicholas Clarke, both of Phoenix._

_Chase was presently a sophomore at the Phoenix High School. He enjoyed listening to his music whenever he had the time and was active in a club that he created at his school, the Freedom Fighters. In addition to his parents, he is survived by his girlfriend Isabella Marie Swan of Phoenix._

_A memorial will be from 6 to 8 p.m. Saturday, Sept. 13. Rest In Peace Chase, you will be greatly missed. _

Attached to the article was a clipping of the accident. How is it that Bella was able to live after that? Especially since I re-read the date and realized that was her birthday…I guess no wonder she must have hated it so much.

"I don't know mom…I really don't how she could have done it." Edward whispered reading the article again.

"Look daddy." Nessie pulled out a necklace with a ring on the end. She looked it over and read the inscription on the inside, "Together Always, Love C C K."

"She kept it." Alice whispered in awe.

We all sat silent and then Jake pulled out a DVD and read the title, "Chase's video. September 13."

We all looked at each other wondering if we should play it. Edward sighed and took it from Jake and placed it into the DVD player.


	5. Chase's Memorial Movie

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Rose POV-**

How is it that this girl has had such tragedy in her life and yet she continued to live? I mean it would seem like this guy…Chase…was her dream guy. He reminds me of Edward a little bit. Edward snorted as he took the DVD, I guess he heard me…well it's true.

The DVD was placed into the player and the title came on:

_Chase's Memorial Movie September 13_

_Bella was standing on a stage. Her friends were standing behind her with instruments. She sighed and said, "On behalf of the Knight family, I just want to say thank you for being here…I know that he would have liked it," she sighed again and took a shaky breath, "I was asked to deliver a speech tonight…but I couldn't write anything…at least write anything that he would have liked, so instead I am going to sing something," she stopped again and took out a gold chain…it was his ring._

"_Chase if you are listening, I need you." The band started to play and the video took a dreamy glow to it as Bella started to sing: _

**Picture perfect memories scattered all around the floor  
Reachin' for the phone 'cause I can't fight it anymore  
And I wonder if I ever cross your mind  
For me it happens all the time**

**It's a quarter after one, I'm all alone and I need you now**  
**Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now**  
**And I don't know how I can do without**  
**I just need you now**

_During the first verse and the chorus the scene faded out and clips of Chase and Bella came in. They looked really happy together as they danced and laughed. The scenes changed again as Bella faded back in and sang the next verse:_

**Another shot of whiskey can't stop looking at the door**  
**Wishing you'd come sweeping in the way you did before**  
**And I wonder if I ever cross your mind**  
**For me it happens all the time**

**It's a quarter after one, I'm a little drunk and I need you now**  
**Said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now**  
**And I don't know how I can do without**  
**I just need you now**

**woah woaaah.**

_The scene changed again as more clips appeared: Chase and Bella at a carnival, singing in the lunchroom on the tables, watching the sunset, and sharing kisses. Bella came back in as she quietly sang the next part of the song:_

**Guess I'd rather hurt than feel nothin' at all**

_She belted out the last part. By this point everyone was tearing up. A video montage appeared in the back ground as she sang: _

**It's a quarter after one I'm all alone and I need you now**  
**And I said I wouldn't call but I'm a little drunk and I need you now**  
**And I don't know how I can do without**  
**I just need you now**  
**I just need you now (wait)**  
**Ooo, baby, I need you now**

_When the song was done she whispered into the microphone, "I love you Chase…but I need you." _

"Dude…that was crazy, why didn't she tell us she could sing?" Emmett asked

"Too many memories Em." We spun to see Bella standing in the hallway to the living room…when did she come back in?

Edward got up and walked slowly to her, "How are you feeling love?"

Bella sighed, "I'm ok…I will be ok."

We all looked at her and I stood up and gave her a hug, which everyone seemed surprised at the action. What I am not that much of a cold hearted bitch am I? Edward snickered silently and I bit back a growl, "I am sorry Bells for what you had to go through."

She hugged back and said, "Thanks Rose…but I am ok though. It was tough but I will be ok…"

"Hey Mom can we watch this one next?" Nessie asked

We all looked at her and then back at Bella who smiled and walked over to sit by her daughter, "And what one would that be?"

Nessie looked at the tape and read, "Talent Show."

Bella sighed and said, "Sure why not."

I smiled as I watched my niece and sister-in-law, it looks like everything was really going to be ok.


	6. Talent Show and Utensil Smack Down

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Nessie POV-**

"Hey Mom can we watch this one next?" I asked

They all looked at her and then back at Mom who smiled and walked over to sit by me daughter, "And what one would that be?"

I looked at the tape and read, "Talent Show."

Mom sighed and said, "Sure why not."

I put the tape in and we watched:

_Mom was backstage holding an electric guitar, "I do not want to do this."_

"_Bells come on. We understand that you are still grieving, but you cannot shut yourself out."Stacy said from behind the camera_

"_Yea Bells you are really starting to scare us. If we had not found you that day after the memorial when we did then-" Nicole did not continue as she closed her eyes and balled her fists up._

_Mom sighed as they announced the break into the show._

"Bells?" Jake asked looking at mom with sad and pity eyes.

This time everyone was watching her. She shook her head, "You do not want to know."

Daddy looked at her as she pulled away. I placed my hand on her cheek asking her to tell us.

Mom sighed, "After the memorial I was screwed up; physically, mentally, and emotionally screwed up. Think of how Edward's leaving affected me and multiply that by one hundred. That night I could not bear to live…so I locked myself up in my car and took a few pills."

"Why Bells? Why would you kill yourself?" Uncle Jasper asked her

"I felt like I had nothing to live for. Stacy and Nicole found me just as I felt myself being pulled toward him," Mom smiled, "He told me to go back."

"What?" Grandpa asked, "Who?"

"Chase. I saw him in the light and he said to go back. He told me that it wasn't my fault. That I have a purpose in life. He made me promise him that I would find love again." Mom explained with a small sad laugh, "I was always watched twenty-four seven after that."

"It is said that some people do experience an out of body experience and are able to talk to their loved ones." Grandma said as she leaned into Grandpa.

"What was he trying to get out of the car?" Aunt Alice asked her, "Did he say?"

Mom took the box and opened the bottom part and pulled out a picture and passed it to her, "It was our Winter Formal picture. That one is mine…his is well…we never let this picture out of our sight or possession." We sighed.

"_Last but not least give it up for Miss Isabella Swan!" The voice announced _

_The curtains came up as mom walked to the microphone, "Tonight I am going to sing something that is dedicated to my heart…" Mom sighed and began singing: _

**Tonight I'm so alone  
This sorrow takes a hold  
Don't leave me here so cold  
Never want to be so cold **

_Mom's band started to play hard and fast as she started the next line. Just then another guy came out and started to act out the next verse as she sang:_****

Your touch used to be so kind  
Your touch used to give me life  
I've waited all this time, I've wasted so much time

Don't leave me alone  
Cause I barely see at all  
Don't leave me alone, I'm

_**[Chorus:]**_**  
falling in the black  
Slipping through the cracks  
Falling to the depths can I ever go back**

Dreaming of the way it used to be  
Can you hear me  
falling in the black  
Slipping through the cracks  
Falling to the depths can I ever go back  
Falling inside the black  
Falling inside falling inside the black

_Mom finished the chorus and started on the next verse as the crowed started to cheer loudly._****

You were my source of strength  
I've traded everything  
That I love for this one thing  
Stranded in the offering  
Don't leave me here like this  
Can't hear me scream from the abyss  
And now I wish for you my desire  


_She then started to belt out the last part of the song. This was when the crowed went wild with yelling and cheering._

**Don't leave me alone cause I barely see at all**

**Cause I barely see at all  
Don't leave me alone, I'm**

_**[Chorus:]**_**  
falling in the black  
Slipping through the cracks  
Falling to the depths can I ever go back**

Dreaming of the way it used to be  
Can you hear me  
falling in the black  
Slipping through the cracks  
Falling to the depths can I ever go back  
Falling inside the black  
Falling inside falling inside the black

_The song ended and the music dimmed. It was clear at who won._

"Did you win?" I asked even though I was sure that she won.

"No I didn't win." Mom said

"WHAT?" We all shouted

"Come on you are joking. You have had to have won that thing!" Uncle Emmett said

"Yea I mean come on that was filled with emotion and everything!" Uncle Jasper agreed

Mom shrugged, "Some girl that did the monkey act in the beginning won. But I didn't care. I still don't. All that matter was that it helped me to move on."

We stayed silent. Grandpa chose the next video, "I have a Question."

"Oh boy…uhm ok…so this is just a random conversation that I think we should not watch." Mom said.

"Why not love?" Dad asked her trying to 'dazzle' her.

Mom thought and said, "We were high when we had this conversation. It is stupid and utterly ridiculous."

"Ok we are watching!" Jake said and mom groaned.

**Jake POV-**

YES! We get to see Bella high! Woot!

I put the video in and it began:

_They were sitting in a circle with smoke all around them (__**A/N: think of That 70's show when they are in Eric's basement**__) and all of a sudden Bella says, "I have a Question."_

_Stacy, who was filming, said, "Ok what is your question?"_

"_Well you know how in that nursery rhyme with the dish running away with the spoon?" Bella starts off_

"_Yea go on…" Nicole responded._

"_Yea do tell." Clint said taking a drink of soda from the bottle._

"_Well what happened to the Fork?" Bella asked_

_They sat in silence actually looking like they were in a deep thought._

"Wait what?" Carlisle asked looking at Bella

"I told you that it was stupid." Bella responded

"You have a problem with kid stuff don't you. First it was Dora, then Barney, now a Nursery Rhyme. What's next? Teletubbies?" Emmett asked

"Do not get me started on them and besides you all never wondered about what happened to Fork or their child Spork?" Bella asked

"Wait…what?" we shouted/asked her. She pointed to the TV.

_Clint was the first one to recover, "Well I think that it went something like this. Fork and Spoon did the whole night of wedded bliss, but when Spoon found out that Dish was her true love she ran away with him and later found out that she was carrying Fork's son, Spork. So she wrote to him saying something like:_

_Dear Fork, I understand that we haven't spoken since I ran away with dish, but I thought you should know that you have a son. His name is Spork. He has your hair. Sincerely, Spoon._

_And when Fork found out they had a court case in family court with Judge Mathis." _

"_Ok that sounds logical." Bella said convinced _

"_No wait a minute there is more to this story. So in the meantime while Spoon is having fun with Dish, poor Fork is all alone…then along comes Knife." Nicole said_

"_Knife?" Stacy asked_

"_Yes Knife. So her and Fork get together and they fall in love. Filled with a night of wedded bliss Knife is unaware of her lover's former mate Spoon." Nicole said in a dark and mysterious voice._

"_Oh ok! So I know what happens next…WWE Smack down with Knife and Spoon! Over one man, Fork. Spoon left Dish because Dish was cheating on her with Glass and wants Fork back so they fight. With Judge Mathis as a ref. But that is when the drama ensues because Spoon had another child with Dish."Bella said._

"_Then what happens?" Clint asked_

"_Well now everything is a mess because Judge Judy get's involved. And the settlement is…" Stacy paused for dramatic effect, "WHO CARES? THEY ARE UTENSILES! THEY CANNOT HAVE KIDS OR RELATIONSHIPS!" _

_The three people sat in disappoint like fashion: Bella, Nicole, and Clint. _

"Uhm…wow." Edward said.

"Mom?" Nessie looked at Bella who was shaking.

"Bella?" Pixie asked

"You ok?" Em asked

Bella was still shaking and then she exploded into laughter, "This was great. We actually wrote a whole story on that!"

"So what happened to Fork, Knife, Spoon, Dish, and the kids?" Rose asked just to humor her.

"Well Dish and Fork fought and Fork won and then Spork set out to find his father and ends up fighting him and then…"

I shook my head as Jasper came over to look at another video, "Civil War Star Wars Style."

Bella stopped in mid story telling mode, "Jasper you will get a kick out of this." 


	7. Civil War Star Wars Style

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Jasper POV-**

I came over to look at another video, "Civil War Star Wars Style."

Bella stopped in mid story telling mode, "Jasper you will get a kick out of this."

Do I even want to know? I wondered, "What is it about exactly?"

Bella smiled and I can feel the happiness burning off of her like crazy, "Well in history class we had a group assignment and since we were studying the Civil War that was the topic we had to do. And well…we got off topic…"

"Ok then..." I said slowly.

"Did you get a good grade?" Carlisle asked

"Oh yea. The teacher was a Star Wars fanatic…we swear that if he could marry George Lucas he would…I would have loved to marry Hayden Christensen." Bella said with a sigh.

"WHAT?" Edward shouted in shock, "HOW MANY OTHER GUYS ARE THERE THAT YOU WOULD HAVE LOVED TO MARRIED BESIDES ME?"

Edward's emotions were off the wall: anger, betrayed, astounded, "You need to chill dude!" I said

"No I don't wanna chill! I want to know why my wife wants to marry other guys!" Edward yelled at me then he turned to Bella, "What can I do to make you happy love?"

Bella laughed, "Edward I am happy with you. Besides Hayden Christensen is the guy who plays Anakin Skywalker in Star Wars: Episode II - Attack of the Clones and Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith. I use to consider Padme lucky to be with him."

Edward shook his head, "Ok then…while we are on the topic can I ask what other guy do you consider hot and want to be with?"

"Well there is Jack Dawson aka Leonardo DiCaprio, then the guy who plays Wesley from the Princess Bride, and…Edward are you writing this down?" Bella looked shock as Edward had a pen and paper in his hands.

Edward looked down then back at Bella and he said, "It's for research love."

We laughed and then Emmett asked, "Ok can we watch the movie now?"

"Ok." I placed the tape into the VCR and it started:

"_So what are we going to do for the project?" Bella asked. They were in their circle in a basement, but there was no smoke this time._

"_I do not know nor do I really care." Some guy with brown hair said._

"_Kevin this is worth fifty percent of our grade. You have to care." Nicole stated_

_Kevin shook his head, "Not right now I don't. I want to watch Star Wars." _

"_Dude you need a different hobby." Clint said to him_

"_But Anakin is so dreamy." Stacy sighed._

"_So are you saying that I am not good enough?" Clint asked hurt._

"_No sweetie but you do not carry a sexy lightsaber." She said. Then when he started to pout she said, "But I love you too."_

_They kissed and Kevin said, "Well Padme is pretty awesome herself."_

"_What? What about me?" Nicole cried._

"_Not that you're not awesome…because you are." Kevin said._

_Nicole looked at Stacy and Clint then said, "I get it…come here." Then they kissed. _

_Bella just watched and took a look at the empty couch. Her eyes held a sense of longing. _

"So I take it you were the minor outcast?" I asked her sensing the minor change in her mood.

Bella sighed, "Yea. I mean we were friends for awhile before Chase came into the picture. Then once he came we got together, then Kevin and Clint came along. So we used to have group dates and stuff…now when he died it was just awkward."

"Was that why you were shutting them out?" Rose asked feeling concerned.

Bella nodded, "Well that and I didn't want to be a burden."

We just nodded. Alice leaned into me and I held her close. I could not imagine what I would do if I lost Alice like Bella lost Chase. I saw Edward nod slightly as if agreeing with me. Bella was his world and reason for existing. He pulled her close to him and she snuggled right up against him.

"_Ok so if you guys will come up to breathe then I think we should get back to the project." Bella said._

_They blushed and refocused. After five minutes failed ideas Kevin said, "Ok this is pointless. I am going to watch Star Wars." _

_So they flicked on the TV and started watching and then Stacy shouted, "THAT'S IT!"_

"_What?" They all shouted._

"_We can make a movie using Star Wars to do our project. Imagine the Union versus the Confederates being the Sith and the Republic. The Union can be the Republic and the Sith can be the Confederates." Stacy explained._

_They sat and Bella said, "Brilliant! Now what topic of the War are we going to talk about?" _

_They discussed the ideas and the screen went black._

"That was a fail. Where is the rest of it?" Emmett asked

"It's getting there just chill." Bella said. No sooner than she spoke the video came back on. And the words scrolled by like the beginning of Star Wars

_The Star Civil War_

_Chapter Three_

_The year is 1863, the Battle of Gettysburg. The Confederates are planning to take the small little town. The Union is going to meet them for an all out bloodshed on July 1. The leader of the Confederate Sith Army is Darth Lee and the leader of the Union Republic is Jedi General Meade. This is going to be the bloodiest three day battle with a total of 23,049 causality for the Army of the Republic (Union) and 24,000 for the Army of the Sith (Confederates). _

"Really? No seriously…really Bella?" I had to ask this was funny but slightly disturbing.

Bella nodded with a little too much enthusiasm, "Yes it was necessary. Besides it gets better."

"How can this get any better?" Alice asked laughing at my facial expression.

"Oh you'll see." Was the scary reply.

"Hey Bella…uhm…what is with the stuffed animals with blood on them and their stuffing all over the place…isn't that kind of morbid?" Jake asked

"Those are supposed to be dead jedi and clones and yes but we couldn't find anything one else." Bella explained.

"Oh ok…hey Bella what character are you playing?" Emmett asked again.

"It's a surprise." She smiled.

"Oh ok…uhm one more question, who is filming?"

"Clint. Stacy added the effects."

We nodded.

"_Day Two…so many Jedi lost in one day…so young." Kevin said who was playing Meade._

"_What do we do Master?" Nicole asked playing Warren._

"_We must take out Darth Lee." Meade said looking determined. _

_There was a cool transition showing a room with someone wearing a Vader costume and Stacy, "What do we do Lord Lee?" Stacy asked who was playing Longstreet. _

"_I don't know. Ever since Stuart took off I have been blind," Lee's voice was cold and hard and unrecognizable. _

"_Well what can we do?" Stacy asked again._

_Lee paced and said, "Have Pickett attack Little Round Top. I will take care of Meade. _

_There was another cool transition and there were toy soldiers attacking each other on some kind of pillow. _

"Let me guess…improvising." I asked

"Yes." Bella nodded

"The point of the pillow love?" Edward asked.

"It's supposed to be Little Round Top. The Sith is attacking the hill and the Jedi Republic is defending it." Bella explained.

_Just then they scene changed to outside where Lee and Meade met up with Lightsabers. _

"_Day three at last. You are going to suffer." Lee's voice said_

"_Oh it is you who will suffer! For the Union!" Meade launched his attack_

"_For the Confederate!" Lee met him._

_Lightsaber met lightsaber as they were now fighting. Lee was quick with the raging offensive moves as he slashed angrily at his opponent, but Meade was just as quick with his defensive moves. When they fought it was as if they were dancing. Nothing existed for these two had disciplined focus. But alas there was a wrong move on Lee's part. Meade__ blocked Lee's lightsaber that was aimed at his stomach. And Lee was disarmed. But Lee was quick and dodged the 'deadly' jab and regained his lightsaber but Meade cut the mask off._

"BELLA!" We all shouted astounded.

"DUDE REALLY?" Emmett shouted.

"So I took a few sword fighting classes no big." Bella shrugged. We all gawked.

_Bella smirked and Kevin was caught off guard. Just then there was a toy Vader who got on a horse and Bella's voice called a retreat. The movie ended with:_

_We know that this was not a complete historical account but who cares? Do we win? To be continued._

"What we got an A on it." Bella said with a shrug.

"You know how to do karate and use a sword?" Emmett asked

"Yes. And the point of your question?" she fired back

"Just making sure."

I laughed and everyone stared, "You were right I did get a kick out of it."


	8. Santa Fiasco

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Emmett POV-**

"I have a question!" I exclaimed raising my hand.

Everyone sighed as Bella said, "Yes Emmett?"

Well here goes nothing…can't wait to hear the answer to this, "How is it that you are able to do karate and sword fight, but yet you were so unbelievably clumsy?"

We all stared at Bella as she started to play with her hands and finally said, "Well that is a good question," she started out. She thought some more and said, "I got nothing."

"So you have no idea then?" Jake asked her

"Nope not a clue," Bella smiled

Carlisle rummaged through the box and pulled out another video, "The Santa Fiasco."

Bella started laughing, "Oh my god this one is excellent!"

"How love?" Edward asked

"Well…I can't explain it is just so epic." Bella said

"Do we want to know?" Esme asked looking like she was doubting sanity.

Bella shook her head, "Well you wanted to watch these in the first place so…" She took the tape and placed it in the VCR.

_Bella, Nicole, Stacy, and Kevin were in the basement surrounded by smoke and they were all giggling until Kevin said, "Dude…dude wait will we get in trouble for this?" _

"_Why? It's not like Renee cares what we do as long as we don't get arrested. And my dad lives in another frickin state anyway and Phil always travels so again I ask who cares?" Bella responded, "Besides we have been doing this for months now."_

"Wow Bella how can you not care about your health?" Rose asked

Bella shrugged, "I didn't. We didn't. My philosophy is do what you want but don't get caught."

"So mommy, can Jake and I go in the basement?" Nessie asked in an innocent tone with the puppy dog pout.

"No you may not young lady! What the hell is there matter with you? Do you want to end up like a pot head?" Bella scolded

"Hypocrite." I coughed

Bella glared and I smiled.

"_No that is not what I meant. I meant with Santa…he sees you when you are sleeping and he knows when you are awake. He also knows if we've been bad or good. So what we are doing is bad…will we get in trouble?" Kevin asked again._

"_Oh please you still believe in Santa? That guy is an old fat tub of lard!" Stacy said indifferently_

"_Yea." Nicole agreed _

"_NO! That is not true! Bells tell them that if they don't stop they will get coal in their stockings!" Kevin pleaded _

_Bella thought then smiled, "Well actually you see if you are bad Santa won't put coal in your stocking." _

"_Well what does he do?" Kevin asked like a five year old that was fascinated as to why is the sky blue_

"_He takes your stocking…"_

"_Yea?"_

"_Opens your stocking…"_

"_Go on…what does he do?"_

"_You really want to know?" Bella asked with a devilish smile_

"_Yes what does he do?"_

_Bella leaned forward and whispered something in Kevin's ear. His eyes grew wide and then he shouted, "NO! NO EFFING WAY! OH GOOD GOD! REALLY?" _

"_Yuppers that is what my Daddy said." _

_Kevin stormed out._

Bella was literally rolling on the floor laughing. We all stared at her and I asked, "What the hell?"

Bella was still laughing as she pointed to the TV where we saw the next part playing.

_Bella, Nicole, Stacy, were watching TV as Kevin walked in, "Thanks a lot Bella."_

"_What did I do?" She asked confused_

"_Remember that conversation we had downstairs yesterday?" _

"_Yea what about it?"_

_Kevin gave an aggravated sigh, "Well I told Greg about the Santa thing and you know what he did?"_

_The girls' faces fell and they all shouted, "YOU TOLD YOUR SEVEN YEAR OLD BROTHER ABOUT THAT CONVERSATION?"_

"_Yes I told him. I was still high when I left and I had no idea what I was saying when I walked in. We got into a fight and I repeated what I should have. Anyway he went to school and him and this kid got into a fight. Greg repeated everything I said and the other kid, a girl mind you, was so traumatized that she had to go home. Greg got suspended until Christmas break is over." Kevin finished with a death glare._

"_Wait a minute. They suspended a second grader? What exactly did he say to her?" Bella asked_

"_He said that Santa was an old fat tub of lard that should go on weight watchers, the reindeer do not really fly because of Christmas spirit instead they devour elf flesh, and that instead of coal he craps in your stocking so that when you wake up you find a turd in you stocking." Kevin finished, "The best part was that when they called my mom and she had Greg explain and guess who got blamed?" _

_The girls pretended to think when he yelled, "ME! I HAVE DOUBLE CHORES DUTY FOR A WHOLE TWO MONTHS!"_

"_Why is it my fault? I never said go tell your seven year old brother about that! Christ it was your own fault." _

"_That is not the point! Merry Christmas!" He stormed out_

"_Same to you!" Bella yelled._

_After a minute the girls laughed._

"WHAT THE HELL?" Nessie flipped out.

"Please he forgave us." Bella said still laughing

"You are missing the point! Why would you say that to him?" Esme shouted

"Because it was funny." Bella said in a duh tone of voice.

"Love still why would even joke about that?" Edward asked

"We were bored and we didn't want another video of Spoon and Fork and their child along with Knife and Dish." Bella said

"Dude that was going too far though. How can you make fun of Santa?" I asked ashamed

"Can, did, felt like it." Bella responded

"Did you find a turd in your stocking?" Rosie asked trying not to laugh

"Well kind of. Uhm…Kevin did forgive us after he cooled down. But he did put fake poop in my stocking." Bella grinned

"How did you end up so twisted?" Alice asked

Bella shrugged, "I don't know. But why are you just wondering about this now?"

"She does have a point. Why did we not realize this sooner?" Jasper pointed out.

"Because I could not read her mind to know her true nature." Edward said.

"I do not know how to respond to that." Bella said slowly trying to think.

"Don't Bells…just don't." Carlisle said.

After a few moments of silence Jake's stomach started to growl and we all said, "BREAK TIME!"


	9. Caroling Capers

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Bella POV-**

"Because I could not read her mind to know her true nature." Edward said.

"I do not know how to respond to that." I said slowly trying to think.

"Don't Bells…just don't." Carlisle said.

After a few moments of silence Jake's stomach started to growl and we all said, "BREAK TIME!"

Once we were done hunting and everyone was settled back in, Jasper pulled out another video that said, "Caroling Capers."

I smiled, "Ok this one is not bad I swear."

"Why is it not bad love?" Edward asked me

"Because you see the girls and the boys made a bet. You know how sometimes when people go caroling they get snacks or something?"

"Yes." Alice said

"Ok well we wanted see who would get the most snacks. It was boys against girls."

"Correct me if I am wrong but isn't caroling supposed to make others feel better?" Rose asked

"Yes, but we wanted to have fun too…like I said I am so not shallow." I said

"Riiiiight. I did not get that impression at all when you lived in Phoenix." Rose said sarcastically.

Jasper sighed and put the video in.

"_Hey why don't we have a contest!" Kevin said, "I bet that the boys can collect the most treats from caroling than the girls!"_

"_No you can't! We all know that the girls can sing better than the boys." Stacy said._

"_Guys this is Christmas, caroling is to make others feel better. It should not be about who can sing better." I reasoned._

"_Yeah true, but that is only because you know that you guys suck!" Clint shouted_

"_Oh no you didn't!" Nicole shouted back_

"_Oh yes we did!" Kevin said_

"_Fine! It is on like Donkey Kong!" I said accepting the challenge._

"Way to keep the Christmas Spirit there Bells." Jake complimented

"Yeah this sets a fine example for Nessie." Esme said sarcastically

"Yeah well…what can I say? I was a moderate wild child." I shrugged

They rolled their eyes.

_The boys had folders in their hands and were dressed in winter clothes although it was like eighty degrees. _

"_We have to look authentic." Kevin said when we were gawking at him._

_Walking to the first door we hid from view and went over the rules, "Ok you guys one song for each door. If you get booed at three times your turn is up. Then it is our turn." I explained._

"_Ok so as many doors we can get. If we get booed at three times we are through." Clint clarified_

"_Yes then it is our turn." Stacy said_

_Nodding the boys did some cheer and went to the first door and sang:_

_**Jingle Bells **_

_**Batman Smells**_

_**Robin Laid an Egg**_

_**The Bat Mobile lost a Wheel **_

_**And Joker took Ballet Hey!**_

_The old couple stared at them and slammed the door in their face._

"_Strike one!" I smiled and they groaned _

_At the next house they rang the bell and another older couple answered the door. Kevin set the beat and they sang another song: _

_**(A/N: I do not own this song! Jeff Dunham Does!)**_

_**Got my dog and 6-pack inside my truck  
My wife rides in the back because she won't shut up  
There's a deer in the headlights and though it might be a sin  
I gunned the motor and run over him **_

_I could see that the older couple was starting to get sick. The girls and I started to crack up at the looks on their faces.__**  
**_

_**It's a Roadkill Christmas  
Venison pre-tenderized  
It's a Roadkill Christmas  
'Cause they freeze when the lights hit their eyes**_

She loaded him into the back of the truck  
I was driving us home, that's when he done woke up  
I couldn't believe what I saw in my rear-view mirror  
My wife was a-wrestlin' with a mad deer  
It's a Roadkill Christmas  
She had fifty pounds over him  


_**It's a Roadkill Christmas  
It was no time 'til she had him pinned**_

By the time we got home, he was her pet  
That night, he slept on my side of the bed  
I had to spend the night out in my truck  
But I had some beer, so I didn't give a... darn  


_Kevin and Clint nodded their heads and made an imaginary toast to one another. The old couple was glaring and I can see that the husband was starting to fume._

_**A couple days later, I made him a deal  
If he worked for me, he would not be my next meal  
I covered his antlers with foil and then,  
I plugged the T.V. cable into his rear end**_

It's a Roadkill Christmas  
Every Sunday, he's up on my roof  
It's a Roadkill Christmas  
I get NASCAR and the NFL, too. 

_Now we were really cracking up. The husband left his wife's side to go inside just, as the boys were about to finish up. The wife was trying really hard not to run. _

_**It's a Roadkill Christmas  
That dumb deer changed my life  
It's a Roadkill Christmas  
Next time, I'll run over my wife! **_

_They finished up and smiled at the old lady, "Whatcha think?" Kevin asked her._

_As the lady was about to answer the husband came back and said, "You want to know what we think?" _

_The boys nodded their heads and he pulled out a shotgun, "GET OUT OF HERE YOU JUVENILES!"_

_He chased them halfway down the block and we shouted, "STRIKE TWO!" _

"Bella that was terrible." Alice said.

"What? Their outfits or their singing?" I asked trying not to laugh

"In general. How can you guys be laughing at them?" She asked me again

"Because it was funny as hell." I said

"Mommy can we go caroling?" Nessie asked

"Sure baby, but if it is a challenge you can't beat me." I said

She looked at me in a questioning look and I pointed back to the TV.

"_Ok we give up." Kevin said_

"_Yeah I think I am going to get heat stroke." Clint said taking the jacket off._

"_Who knew that old guy could run that fast?" Stacy said still smiling._

"_Well that was Old Man Ray. He was in Vietnam, and I heard that he was the fastest guy on his team." I said_

"_You sure you guys don't want to try again?" Nicole asked in sympathy._

"_Nah you guys go ahead." Kevin stated._

_Handing the camera to Clint he took it so that Stacy was in the frame._

"_Ready girls?" I asked _

_They nodded and we ripped off our jackets. We wearing sexy Santa suit and we pulled out the hats. _

_The boys gawked at us as we strolled out into the streets. Stacy brought out mikes while Nicole brought out our guitars. When we were done setting up Kevin came out, "Hey I thought you said we had to go door to door." _

"_No it was as many doors as you can. Count the doors." I said_

"_There are like fifteen doors here." Clint said_

"_Yea and look at it this way if we get booed at you win." I said_

"_How do we win?" Clint asked_

"_Because if all fifteen people boo at us then that is more than you got. Duh!" Stacy said._

"_Ok fine." Clint stepped back as I called out, "HELLO NEIGHBORS!" All fifteen people came out, "ARE YOU READY FOR SOME CHRISTMAS CAROLS?"_

_They all looked confused but cheered and I said, "ALRIGHTY THEN HERE WE GO!"_

_**Rocking around the Christmas Tree  
at the Christmas party hop  
Mistletoe hung where you can see  
Ev'ry couple tries to stop **_

_Everyone was cheering and dancing in the street as we sang. The camera started to shake probably because Clint was starting to get mad._

_**You will get a sentimental feeling When you hear voices singing  
"Let's be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly" Rocking around the Christmas Tree  
Have a happy holiday  
Everyone's dancing merrily  
In a new old fashioned way**_

Rocking around the Christmas Tree  
Let the Christmas Spirit ring  
Later we'll have some pumpkin pie  
and we'll do some caroling  


_The crowed started to whoop and holler in joy and continued dancing. Stacy, Nicole, and I started to rock out and dance with our guitars and they hollered even more.__**  
**_

_**You will get a sentimental feeling When you hear voices singing  
"Let's be jolly; Deck the halls with boughs of holly"  
Rocking around the Christmas Tree  
Have a happy holiday  
Everyone's dancing merrily  
In a new old fashioned way**_

_I held the last note and the crowd cheered for an encore, "WANT ANOTHER ONE?" _

"_YEAH!" They yelled_

"_ALRIGHT! HERE WE GO AGAIN!"_

_**Last Christmas, I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, You gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special**_

Last Christmas, I gave you my heart  
But the very next day, You gave it away  
This year, to save me from tears  
I'll give it to someone special  


_As I sang this I could not help but think of Chase. I really missed him. I held back a few tears and sang the next verse._

_**Once bitten and twice shy  
I keep my distance but you still catch my eye  
Tell me baby do you recognise me?  
Well it's been a year, it doesn't surprise me**_

(Happy Christmas!) I wrapped it up and sent it  
With a note saying "I Love You" I meant it  
Now I know what a fool I've been  
But if you kissed me now I know you'd fool me again

_I remembered that we did get into a fight before Christmas during our first Christmas together. No one really knew of course but that did not stop us. Eventually we gave into our desires and sang this song together.__****_

(Oooh. Oooh Baby)

A crowded room, friends with tired eyes  
I'm hiding from you and your soul of ice  
My God I thought you were someone to rely on  
Me? I guess I was a shoulder to cry on  
A face on a lover with a fire in his heart  
A man undercover but you tore me apart  
Oooh Oooh  
Now I've found a real love you'll never fool me again

A face on a lover with a fire in his heart  
(Gave you my heart)  
A man undercover but you tore me apart  
Next year  
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special  
special  
someone  
someone  
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special  
who'll give me something in return  
I'll give it to someone  
hold my heart and watch it burn  
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone special  
I've got you here to stay  
I can love you for a day  
I thought you were someone special  
gave you my heart  
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone  
last christmas I gave you my heart  
you gave it away  
I'll give it to someone, I'll give it to someone__

_The crowd cheered and whooped. Candy Canes were thrown at us and we yelled, "GIRLS RULE!"_

"Wow mom." Nessie said

"Wow cannot even begin to describe this." Edward said

"Diddo dude." Emmett responded

"Bella that was amazing." Carlisle said

"Yea I loved the outfits." Alice cheered while hugging me

"Yea what ever happened to that spunk?" Rose asked

I laughed, "Well what happens in Phoenix; stays in Phoenix."

They smiled and Rose pulled out a video, "Bella and the Pole."

If I could feel any sicker I would at this very moment, "Please can we not watch that?"

Jasper grinned, "Feeling a little embarrassed are we?"

"No. I just do not want to watch it." I said

Jasper grinned even more, just like the Grinch when he stole the Whoos Christmas stuff from their town of Whoville, "Put it in."

I was doomed.


	10. Bella and the Pole

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Alice POV-**

They smiled and Rose pulled out a video, "Bella and the Pole."

If Bella could look any sicker I would say that she would be at this very moment, "Please can we not watch that?"

Jasper grinned, "Feeling a little embarrassed are we?" I never knew my husband could look so evil.

"No. I just do not want to watch it." She said. I did not need my powers to know that this was going to be embarrassing for her.

Jasper grinned even more, just like the Grinch when he stole the Whoos Christmas stuff from their town of Whoville, "Put it in."

She was doomed.

_Bella looked to be about nine years old. It looked like they were in some cold area._

"_Come on can't we go snowboarding now?" Bella asked _

"_No not until you lick the pole." Nicole said sternly._

"_But I don't wanna lick the pole!" Bella cried_

"_Come on Bella you have to lick it." Stacy said, "Prove to the people back home that your tongue will stick to the pole if it is cold enough is a myth!" _

"Care to explain love?" Edward asked.

Bella had her head buried in his shirt and she said in a muffled voice, "We went snowboarding at Shawnee Ski Resort in Pennsylvania. Stacy had family there and they got free passes for the winter and they invited me and Nicole to come and spend Christmas with them. Renee thought it was fine so I went. We saw 'A Christmas Story' and when Flick was dared to lick the pole his tongue got stuck. I had said it was a myth but Nicole and Stacy did not believe me," She took an unnecessary breath, "Well once we were ready to go snowboarding it was cold out and well…"

She pointed to the TV and we continued to watch.

"_No I am not doing it!" Bella yelled_

"_I dare you to!" Nicole challenged_

_Stacy gasped._

"_No." Bella said_

_By this point all the kids gathered around them to see what was going on._

"_Are you chicken?" Nicole mocked_

"_No I just refuse to do it." _

"_I double dog dare you." _

_The kids gasped and one said, "This is__ serious. A double-dog-dare," __Bella still shook her head._

"_Fine then you leave me no choice," Nicole said grimly, "I triple dog dare you to."_

_There was an errie gasp and one kid said, "T__he coup de grace of all dares, the sinister triple-dog-dare." _

_Bella's eyes widened as one kid said, "You have to do it. This is the mother of all dares." _

_Bella gulped and looked at the camera and back at Nicole, who wore a triumphant smile. Gulping again she stick her tongue out and placed it on the pole and said, "See." Then she tried to get it off, "Hey!"_

_She pulled and pulled, "Help! Help!" Then she started to cry and shout._

"_Oh my god what do we do?" Nicole shouted panicking_

"_Run!" Stacy shouted_

"_Come back! Come back!" Bella shouted._

We were all laughing hysterically. Bella on the other hand was looking miffed, "They had to have the police and fire department come and get me off."

This made us laugh even harder. Edward could not even control himself until Bella wacked him on the head in a Rose like fashion and said, "You are so not getting any for a week."

Edward looked like a wounded puppy/Emmett, "Aw Bells."

"Wow Bella you are finally learning." Rose complimented.

"Hey I have known you all for how long now? I was bound to pick up a thing or two." She winked. Rose looked like a proud sister.


	11. Marriage and Singing

Ok so thank you all who added this to their favorites and alerts. This story is almost done; I'd say another few chapters or so. I do not own the songs that appear in this chapter so enjoy.

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Jake POV-**

This made us laugh even harder. Edward could not even control himself until Bella wacked him on the head in a Rose like fashion and said, "You are so not getting any for a week."

Edward looked like a wounded puppy/Emmett, "Aw Bells."

"Wow Bella you are finally learning." Rose complimented.

"Hey I have known you all for how long now? I was bound to pick up a thing or two." She winked. Rose looked like a proud sister.

Nessie was curled up against me. I looked down and could not help but to think how lucky I was. Sure she did not know that she was my imprint but that did not matter. I knew we were going to have so much fun when she got older.

Nessie smiled at Edward's pouting and Bella's grin. She was happy to see her parents acting ridiculous and personally so was I. It was so pathetic that it was funny. She sat up and looked over to Bella's memory box and pulled out a book, "My Song Book."

Bella gasped and grabbed it out of Nessie's hand, "How did this get in here?"

"What is it?" I asked also sitting up.

Bella was flipping through the tattered book and shook her head, "I thought I burned this thing. Well I'll be God Damned."

"Isabella…" Esme said, "Remember what we discussed?"

Bella ignored her; she was too intrigued with her book, "Oh my god! I remember this one and this one and that one…and oh this one is the one I wrote when I was pregnant with Renesmee."

"What? What did you write?" Alice asked joining us on the floor.

"Well I started writing songs when I was in Phoenix. When I moved here that kind of stopped for a bit. But then when Edward left I kind of took it up again. Then once I thought that Jake was out of the picture I started up full throttle. Then it stopped once everyone was together again and when Edward was in his panic phase during the pregnancy I started to write." Bella explained.

"So you wrote songs about us?" I asked curiously

"Yea just my feelings about you though." She said.

Nessie leaned over and placed a hand on her cheek and Bella smiled embarrassedly, "I can't I am out of practice and I may stink."

"Please mommy…"

"Ness I don't think I can."

"But you did so well on the videos…please?" Nessie gave her the most ultimate pout the world has ever seen. The eyes were gleaming and the bottom lip was out.

I saw Bella's resolve fading fast and then finally, "Alice I am going to kill you for teaching her the puppy pout."

The pixie smiled and said, "You know you love me Bells."

"I put up with you why?" Bella groaned

"Because you love me and Edward is my brother." Alice said

"Meaning…."

"Meaning that if I didn't like you; then guess who you would be married to right now." Alice said.

Bella and I exchanged glances and we thought together…I guess that would be possible. We nodded and smiled. Edward's jaw dropped and Nessie looked indifferent to our silent conversation.

"No! No way in the fiery depths of hell would that have happened! I would rather die than see that happen!" He shouted

Bella smirked, "Well that would not have been your choice." She winked at me and I winked back.

"The hell it would have been." He growled

"Well theoretically you were technically married to me first." I said and Bella grinned so I knew she was thinking about the same thing I was.

"WHAT?" Edward raged

"Oh yea I didn't tell you about that? We got married in one of my summer retreats. We had my dad as the reprehensive marriage license for the town, we had Billy as the priest, Rachel was my maid of honor and who else Jake?" Bella listed

"That was it. You had the CD with the wedding march playing. Do you still have the ring?" I asked enjoying the fact that Edward had steam coming out of his ears.

"Yes I loved the mood ring. It was dark blue all day…and the honeymoon was awesome." Bella smiled.

"YOU GAVE HER A FLIPPIN MOOD RING AS AN ENGAGMENT RING? WHAT THE HELL MATE" Edward yelled

Everyone was trying not to laugh but we were all failing miserably. I nodded, "Oh yea and on the beach we had romance out of the whazoo."

I saw Esme's coffee table cracking under Edward's fist and Bella must have saw it too because she immediately went to his side as we all lost it and laughed, "Chill dude we were like ten and playing house." I said

"Yea it wasn't real." Bella said.

"Oh thank god." Edward said calming down

"You really need to take a chill pill buddy." Emmett stated

"Or take a Jasper Pill." I said which earned me a death glare from Jasper and a laugh from everyone else.

Once everyone calmed down, Esme picked up the discarded book and started to flip through it, "We would like it if you sang to us."

All eyes were on Bella as she thought it over and nodded her head, "Ok fine. I can see I am not going to win this."

"When do you ever win little sis?" Emmett asked smirking.

"Touché bro." Bella smirked back.

She got up and ran out before anyone could say anything and came back a few seconds later with an electric black colored guitar with the amp. She also then pulled out from her memory box a chain filled with guitar picks. She smiled sadly at one of them and unclipped it from the chain. Tuning it up she turned to us and asked, "What song do you want me to play first?"

I took the book and flipped through it and saw on top of one of pages that said Jake's song. I pointed to the page, "This one."

She scanned it over and her smile faltered, "I wrote this after you ditched me when I thought that you got involved with Sam's gang. You sure you want this one?"

I nodded, "If that is the way you felt I want to hear it."

Strumming a few chords she began to sing:

**Uh huh  
Life's like this  
Uh huh, uh huh  
That's the way it is  
'Cause life's like this  
Uh huh, uh huh  
That's the way it is**

Chill out, what you yellin' for?  
Lay back, it's all been done before  
And if, you could only let it be  
You will see

I like, you the way you are  
When we're drivin' in your car  
And you're, talkin' to me one on one  
But you become

Somebody else  
'Round everyone else  
Your watchin' your back  
Like you can't relax  
You tryin' to be cool  
You look like a fool to me  


_Did I really start acting like a jerk before I was ordered to ditch her? She said that she had liked me when she was driving in my rabbit, I know she liked me better than Newton and when I got 'sick' I really did start watching my back. I feel like an ass._

**Tell me  
Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?  
I see the way you're actin' like you're somebody else  
Gets me frustrated  
Life's like this you  
You fall and you crawl and you break  
And you take what you get, and you turn it into  
Honestly, you promised me  
I'm never gonna find you fake it  
No no no**

You come over unannounced  
Dressed up, like you're somethin' else  
Where you are ain't where it's at you see  
You're makin' me

Laugh out, when you strike a pose  
Take off, all your preppy clothes  
You know, you're not foolin' anyone  


_Wow I was running around with them and even though I was not wearing preppy clothes; I was defiantly wearing something that she did not like me in. Maybe it was my acting that sucked. I wonder how she felt when she hung it with me and the pack sometimes. _

**When you become**

**Somebody else  
'Round everyone else  
Your watchin' your back  
Like you can't relax  
You tryin' to be cool  
You look like a fool to me  
Tell me**

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?  
I see the way you're actin' like you're somebody else  
Gets me frustrated  
Life's like this you  
You fall and you crawl and you break  
And you take what you get, and you turn it into  
Honestly, you promised me  
I'm never gonna find you fake it  
No no no  


_She was singing really well. I mean from the videos we figured she could sing, but this was like wow! This was certainly giving me a guilt trip. I cannot believe I had affected her badly. _

**Ooh, chill out, what you yellin' for?  
Lay back, it's all been done before  
And if you could only let it be  
You will see**

Somebody else  
'Round everyone else  
Your watchin' your back  
Like you can't relax  
You tryin' to be cool  
You look like a fool to me  
Tell me

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?  
I see the way you're actin' like you're somebody else  
Gets me frustrated  
Life's like this, you  
You fall and you crawl and you break  
And you take what you get, and you turn it into  
Honestly, you promised me  
I'm never gonna find you fake it  
No no

Why'd you have to go and make things so complicated?  
(Yea yea)  
I see the way you're actin' like you're somebody else  
Gets me frustrated  
Life's like this you  
You fall and you crawl and you break  
And you take what you get, and you turn it into  
Honestly, you promised me  
I'm never gonna find you fake it  
No no no 

We all applauded, "Wow Bella that was awesome!" Alice cheered.

"Yes that was good." Jasper nodded

"Thanks guys." Bella said sheepishly

Edward pulled her close, "Can you sing my song now?"

"Maybe later love." Bella responded.


	12. Austin Powers Impression and War

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Esme POV-**

Wow never knew my daughter in law could be so talented. So as we laughed and enjoyed family time I saw another video that caught my eye, "The Ultimate Capture the Flag War Part One."

"Ok another crack series, you wouldn't like it." Bella said

"How is it that you are able to recall your human memories?" Jasper suddenly asked out of the blue.

We all thought over and looked at my lovely husband who knows the answer to everything, "What do you think honey?"

Carlisle looked blanked, "I do not know. The only thing I can think of is that Bella's shield was able to keep the human memories intact."

We all shrugged agreeing with the answer and I popped the video in.

_There was smoke all around the basement and the TV was on._

"_Dude…dude this is sick!" Kevin stated as he smoked the illegal substance._

"_I know! Did you see that canon ball hit that guy's head! Awesome! I wish I was in a war!" Bella cheered also taking a drag._

"_Please you would not survive!" Stacy said flicking the TV off, "You are way too clumsy and would probably end up destroying your fellow soldiers which would cause the other dudes to win."_

"_I could so survive and be the hero in a war! I would be the master of disguise…the con artist…the rebel spy!" Bella was bouncing off the couch and standing on the table, "I would be Benedict Arnold if I must or Carmen Santiago or even the girl version of Austin Powers!" _

"SERIOUSLY? AUSTIN POWERS?" Emmett exclaimed

"Yea I do a pretty good impression." Bella said proudly

"Do it!" Emmett said bouncing up and down.

Bella looked at Edward, "Love…I have a question and be honest." She had an evil glint in her eye that we all could see…with the exception of Edward.

"What is it love?" Edward asked who was 'dazzled' by Bella's expression.

We all leaned forward as Bella cleared her throat and said in a thick husky male British accent, "Do I make you horny, baby? Do I? Do I make you randy? Yeah Baby. Let's do it baby! I know you want too! Take me I am ready!" She crawled on top of Edward and started to growl playfully and seductively. Edward was stuttering for words and we were all laughing our heads off. If he could blush he would be redder than Victoria's hair.

Bella decided to show him some mercy and got off of him, "How was that Em?"

"That was great sis!"

Edward was still not speaking but just gawked at Bella and she smiled evilly and winked which made his jaw drop.

"_Ok why don't we do play Capture the Flag war style?" Clint suggested_

"_We can't. It's raining." Nicole stated just as it cracked thunder._

"_So that matters why? We can play outside and inside." He responded_

"_No we can't. Masking the smoke is easy cleaning up will be hard." Bella said_

"_Phil and your mom left to go out of town for a week today right? It won't be hard to clean up. Or is the great spy chicken?" Clint mocked_

_Bella glared, "You are on!" they divided into teams. _

_Nicole was on Bella's team leaving Clint with Kevin. They had Stacy as the camera girl. They then divided the house in half and the scene changed to what looked like the dining room._

"_Ok so the boundary line is the living room. As for the rules of the war here they are: You get to use whatever supplies we have that is on our own side. The flag can be moved as to stay protected. Stacy will be filming for both sides and will also be like a confession tape. The war lasts for however long it takes to get the flag. If no one gets the flag in six days the war is a draw. Basement and upstairs is off limits." Bella looked around and asked, "Anything else?"_

"_Yea here." Clint handed Bella and Nicole guns, "Paintball guns to make this more realistic and here is the ammo. Once you run out that is it." _

_Bella and Nicole nodded, "Ok cool. So here are the flags. Clint and Kevin get the pirate flag. This is what we have to try and steal. Ours will be the terminator flag."_

"_No fair! Why do you get the cool flag?" Kevin complained_

"_Because __Arnold Schwarzenegger is hot and that is what we wanted so you can go suck it." Nicole said sticking out her tongue._

"_You will pay for that. Ok let's get started how do we know when to start?" Clint asked._

_Bella thought and then snapped her fingers. Digging through the drawer in the hutch she dug out two whistles, "Use this when you are ready. Blow three short times when you found a place to hide your flag. Once you have heard the other side we will begin."_

_They walked over to the tape and Stacy pulled out a coin, "Ok Clint since this was your idea you call it."_

"_Tails." Clint said_

_Stacy flipped it and it fell to the ground, "Heads. Bells?"_

_Bella turned to Nicole and they whispered. Nodding their heads Bella said, "Back half of the house."_

_Clint and Kevin shrugged and they switched sides and shook hands, "May the best team win." Clint said_

"_We intend to my friend." Bella said._

_Nodding they ran and the tape ended._

"Really? No really? You had to end it there?" Rose complained with her hands up in the air in disbelief.

We all starred at her and she shrugged, "What? Can't I enjoy a war movie without being judged by my own family?"

"Uhm of course, but you do realize that this was not a real war and that this is Bella's home movies right?" Alice asked slowly.

"All the more reason that I am entertained; I mean how often do we see Bella getting herself involved in a war?"

"I can name a few." Emmett said

"James, Victoria, the Volturi twice, and the Newborns." Jasper listed

"Yea where were you?" Jake asked

"But that was serious stuff, this is fun stuff." Rose stated

Carlisle got up and put his hand to her forehead, "Ok so your temperature seems to be normal so I have a question."

"Yes?" Rose asked

"Who the hell are you and what have you done to Rosalie?" He asked

Rose shrugged, "What is so wrong with me changing my attitude a bit?"

We said nothing as she got down to the box and dug through it, "The Ultimate Capture the Flag War Part Two."

"Wow Rose I did not realize you found me so interesting." Bella stated

"Hey if anyone can do an Austin Powers impression that good then you are someone that I should get to know better."


	13. War Part 2 and Lost Marbles?

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Edward POV-**

Rose shrugged, "What is so wrong with me changing my attitude a bit?"

We said nothing as she got down to the box and dug through it, "The Ultimate Capture the Flag War Part Two."

"Wow Rose I did not realize you found me so interesting." Bella stated

"Hey if anyone can do an Austin Powers impression that good then you are someone that I should get to know better."

I was still in awe at how Bella managed to get me under her spell, although I did manage to get out, "How long did this war go on love?"

She thought and said, "It was epic…uhm it lasted for six days I believe."

"The whole six days?" We gasped out.

Bella nodded as the tape was put in. When it came on we gasped at the site of what now looked like an atomic bomb hit.

"Holy Shit!" Emmett gasped out, "What the hell did you guys have? An A-Bomb in there?"

"We got out of control a bit." Bella said nervously.

"A bit? I hate to see what a lot looks like." Alice commented

_Bella appeared and was covered in paint and mud. Her eyes were bloodshot and twitchy and her clothes were ripped. It looked like she had been through hell and back, "Ok it is now day six. I have not slept in days. Always on the alert in enemy territory, I am alone. Nicole is back at base guarding our flag. All I have survived on is Red bull, coffee when I can, some happy substance, and Quaker Guy bars. Mom if I do not make it I love you soooo much and please forgive me for the mess." Her face was pleading. The tape went black._

We all stared at her, "What?"

"Happy substance?" Carlisle asked

"Uhm…the crack." Bella said.

"You stayed up for six days? How big was your house?" Rose asked

"Uhm…kind of big if you count the backyard. And if anyone asks if I cared about my health the answer is no. After all this I think we came down with like PTS."

"Why and how?" Jake asked

"Well…" There was shouting that now came on and she pointed back to the TV.

_Paint balls were fired and stuff broke. Bella and Clint were wrestling on the ground each beating the crap out of each other. More shouting can be heard that sounded like Nicole, "WE'VE BEEN HIT! HE FOUND THE FLAG!" _

"_NO!" Bella shouted as she fled out of Clint's head lock and ran for Kevin. Before he could cross the line she tackled him to the ground and ripped the flag out of his hands. Nicole appeared and ran with the flag to go re-hide it; Stacy followed Bella as she ran to find the pirate flag while Clint and Kevin were dazed, "Ah Ha!" _

_She climbed what appeared to be a tree house and searched inside it and sure enough there it was. Reaching into the bag she pulled out her walkie-talkie, "This is Immortal Phoenix I found the treasure. I repeat I found the treasure."_

"_Soaring Hawk here message received bring it home!" Nicole's voice came back. _

"Yes the code names were needed." Bella said before we could ask.

"Did you really have to get violent?" Nessie asked, "I mean you guys could have really killed each other."

Bella thought how to answer her question and comment, "Uhm well. It was war. All is far. And thus why we got PTS; Mom always did say we took pretend games too seriously. Over active imagination she called it."

**That explains everything**, my family and Jake thought.

_Stacy was breathing heavily as Bella ran back inside dodging the paint balls that were whipping by her and Clint shouted, "YOU CAN'T ESCAPE US! NOW KEVIN!" _

_Kevin jumped out of nowhere and tackled Bella to the ground and they were rolling on the floor, "NICOLE!" Bella shouted_

_Nicole ran to her partner and there was a hand off and she took off, "NO!" Clint yelled and just as he was about to tackle her the tape moved into slow-mo and she crossed the line. _

"_YES!" The girls shouted_

"_Damn it!" Came the echo. _

_The phone rang and Stacy's hand reached into the frame to answer it, "Swan Residence…Sure hold on…" Bella looked at Stacy and the phone was handed off._

"_Yellow? Mom? Hi how are you…ok…how long are you going to be? Say what?" As she talked the group was deadly silent, "How many hours? Ok bye!"_

_Turning to face the group she took a deep breath and shouted, "MY MOM IS GOING TO BE HOME IN 6 HOURS!" _

_They looked at the house. Clint was the first to speak, "Well good luck Bells!"_

"_Oh hell no!" Bella tackled him from behind, "This was your bloody idea and you are going to help clean this shithole up!" Facing the others, "Let's get started or I won't ask give you any happy stuff ever again." _

_That got them moving and then it went black._

"Damn…I am never playing capture the flag with you." Emmett said

"So how busted were you?" Alice asked

Bella thought, "Well we didn't. We managed to clean up and nothing was seriously broken that my mom would miss."

"How about the holes in the wall?" Jake asked

"I know how to fix walls. It was real easy. My mom still does not know what went on when she wasn't home. We did worst than this if that is even possible." Bella said as if these events did not matter.

I ignored that comment and dug through the box and found, "Sophomore Prom Prank Fail."

Bella was laughing and we all stared, "Emmett if you think your pranks are good well then this would be epic."

"But it says fail." Emmett said confused, **dude your wife has lost her marbles if she had any to begin with**.

I nodded starting to agree with him…is it bad if I am agreeing with him?

"Dude nothing can top this," Bella said, "Want to know what I was really like in school besides a rebel? I dare you to play this tape. Mind you it is not for the weak hearted people."

We all stared wondering if we should. 


	14. Spork and Knork

For the most part I got this idea off of an episode of 'That 70's Show'. It's the Tornado Prom episode. So yea…I thought this would be funny. Also Spork and Knork are mine!

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Alice POV-**

"Dude nothing can top this," Bella said, "Want to know what I was really like in school besides a rebel? I dare you to play this tape. Mind you it is not for the weak hearted people."

We all stared wondering if we should. This really sucks that I cannot see what was about to happen. After watching the havoc that Bella caused, what could possibly be worst?

"Oh trust me Alice if she was this bad, imagine the havoc as a vamp." Edward said

Bella got a slight gleam in her eyes, but shrugged the comment, "So wanna watch?"

Nodding we placed the video in.

_Stacy's face came on the TV and she announced, "So it's prom night for the Sophomores and it is snow theme. Now here is the master prank planner herself, Bella! So what are we up to?"_

"_Well we all hate Coach Capps right?" Bella asked _

"_Yea that guy is a royal bastard and seriously needs to get laid." Clint said_

"_He needs to find a woman first, but what woman wants him when all he does is teach boys to play with __**balls**__?" Kevin asked smirking_

"_Well he has to after all he is the football coach. Be all end all of the school. So we are in agreement then; he really needs to loosen up but we do too…so we are throwing our own party in his office." Bella said holding a bag._

_Everyone gasped, "You brought the stuff?" _

"_Yuppers."_

"_But you said we would pull a prank." Clint whined_

"_Yea what the hell mate?" Nicole stated_

"_If we wanted to get high we could go to your house this is so not cool Bella." Kevin said_

"_I have to agree with Kev this is stupid. Come on we are wasting time, let's go dancing." Stacy said walking away._

"_Wait!" Bella called out, "I promise you that this is not something you want to miss…trust me!"Then it went black._

We all were looking at Bella as if she was from another planet…maybe she was actually.

"What?" Bella asked

"This is a prank fail. I mean come on that was just stupid." Emmett said insulted, "I am ashamed to call you my sister."

Bella turned to scold us, "Do not underestimate me. Have you learned nothing as to what could or can happen when you underestimate Isabella Marie Swan Cullen? And to think vampires have a photographic memory."

"But mom one: you just insulted yourself by saying that last part." Nessie said, "And two: nothing happened."

"Oh yea?" Bella pointed back at the TV

_They were in the gymnasium standing around. Katy Perry's Waking Up in Vegas was playing loudly._

"_How are we even going to do this? And this will not be fun." Clint stated _

"_Well I have that all covered," Bella said as a large heavy set man came walking up to them._

"_What are you guys up too? Isabella?" He eyed Bella like she was his prey._

"_Why whatever made you think that we were up to something Coach C?" Bella asked_

_He eyed her, "Every time you guys are together something always happens. And it is my job as chaperone to see that everything stays orderly and you," he pointed to them, "do not keep things orderly."_

_Bella shook her head and threw an arm around the man and started to lead him away from the group, "Why sir I am insulted that you would think that we would do something on this special occasion. Do you not trust us that we are a couple of innocent teens wanting to have fun at our prom?"_

_Capps threw her arm off of his shoulder, "I can't trust you as far as I can throw you. I know about you being the leader of that rebel club and I got my eye on you." _

"_Well I think you need to chill!" She yelled_

"_What?" He yelled _

_Bella pointed up as soon as he looked up Bella gave a hand signal to some random dude and he nodded. Then the camera pointed up to see a huge sack come plummeting down on top of the guy, "COLD! COLD COLD! COLD!" he yelled dancing around the gym._

_Kids were laughing and Stacy, Nicole, Clint, and Kevin ran over to Bella. Nicole tugged on Bella's arm, "What the hell was that? You are in deep shit!"_

"_No __**we**__ are not. I got this guys," she whipped out her cell and texted quick and put it back just as Capps stormed over._

_His face was all purples and reds, "You five! Office! NOW!"_

_Bella shrugged and let him lead the way but she whispered to Stacy, "Turn the camera off."_

"Oh my god! Bella what did you do to that poor man?" Esme asked astounded that her 'good child' could do something so cruel.

"What? It was just twenty pounds of shaved ice." Bella shrugged, "I said he needed to chill."

Emmett was laughing, "SWEET! I TOTALLY TAKE BACK WHAT I SAID! HIGH FIVE!"

"How about high ten?" They slapped hands and were laughing.

"He could have gotten seriously hurt Bella," Carlisle said, "do you not feel sorry for what you did too him or the fact you could have been expelled?"

Bella thought and said, "No. We became friends in the end anyhow. It was an epic party in the office."

"What are you talking about?" Edward asked.

"Yea where is the rest of it?" I asked

Then the TV came on and it showed the coach yelling at the five people in the office boy was he flipping out, "How did you manage this?" Rose asked

Bella took the remote and paused the tape, "I snuck into his office and placed it there so he wouldn't notice. I timed it to start filming around this time."

We all stared at her and Jake asked, "So are you really a secret government agent ninja and you didn't tell us?"

Bella smiled, "No I just watch too many spy movies and mimic them."

_Right as Coach was going to start yelling at them Bella raised her hand, "Uhm…Coach you may want to stop yelling now."_

"_WHY?" He yelled at her. The group gave her shocked looks._

"_Well didn't you here the announcement bell?" Bella asked innocently._

"_What announcement bell? This is not school hours Miss. Swan!"He yelled back_

_But as soon as he said that there was a voice over the intercom, "ATTENTION! WE ARE IN TORNADO WATCH CODE RED! WE ARE GOING INTO LOCKDOWN!" Just then the doors slammed shut._

"Wait what? How can you go into safety when doors slam like that?" Rose asked, "That is stupidity!"

Bella was rolling on the floor laughing, "That was priceless did you see his face."

"Bella! The man is in panic and you are laughing? What the hell?" Jasper asked

"Well the doors are automatic because that is the school's security stuff that and that was not really the principal. That was phase two." Bella was laughing again.

_After five minutes of panicking the Coach fell into a fetal position, "Mommy save me! I don't wanna die! I have too many goals and experiences that have not been completed!" He started to suck his thumb. _

"_Hey, hey it's ok." Bella said gently, "We'll be out of here before you know it. Just stay calm."_

"_But I don't wanna die!" he cried, "There are so many things I have not experienced!"_

_Bella got the gleam in her eye, "I know one thing you have not experienced." She pulled out the bag._

_He looked at her and nodded his head._

"WTF? He is a teacher! He is not supposed to condone this stuff!" Nessie cried out pointing to the screen as the six of them started to light up.

"And what about the smoke detectors?" Rose asked

Bella just smiled.

"Let me guess you took care of that too?" Emmett asked

"Yuppers. That was the first thing I did in his office. Take them all down and open the window for some ventilation so all the smoke can escape." Bella nodded proudly as if she won gold star.

"_Guys you are my best friends. I love you guys sooooo much!" Capps stated, "But tornadoes are givin a bad rep. Nothing like the Wizard of Oz…where are the midgets? I bet I can bench press ten midgets."_

_Bella started to go through his desk and started to pull out joke stuff, "Wow look at all the stuff you confiscated from me. This is mine and that too."_

_Stacy looked around and said, "I wonder who won Snow Queen. This is so not fair! I am nice to everyone…with the exception of the AV nerds. I was nice for a whole week!"_

"_Stacy you have to be nice to everyone every day. Not just a whole week. Or be very handsome like me!" Clint stated proudly then he looked at something that Bella had in her hand, "Oh! My banana nose! I was looking for this!" And he put it on, "It's still funny!"_

_Capps laughed and said, "Hey have you ever heard of Knork?" _

"_Who?" Kevin asked after staring into space for five minutes._

"_You know Knork. The son of Fork and Knife." Nicole supplemented_

"_Yea that guy! You know I feel sorry for them. It is so sad to know that you had a half brother and not even realize it." Capps started to cry, "I mean all this time the child must be in pain." _

"_Or to know that your mother was a hooker…all Fork wanted was some love!"Nicole cried out._

_They embraced in a hug and started to cry. In fact everyone started to tear up and there was a group hug fest._

_Just then annoucment came on, "This is Principal Howard speaking. I have just been informed that there was no code red. Everyone can go back to their lives."_

_They broke apart and Capps said, "How can we go back to our lives when Knork and Spork found out that their lives were nothing but lies?"_

"_We can make it. We are survivors and so are they." Bella said_

"_We must believe with all our hearts!" Stacy cried out_

"_Ahem sister!" Nicole cheered_

"_Ahem!" The boys clapped._

We all stared at Bella as she was dry sobbing into Edward, "Isn't that the most inspirational thing you ever heard? It just brings tears to your eyes."

Edward ackwardly patted her on the back, "I am sure if we were able to cry then yes. It was very heartfelt." Then he mouthed help to us.

Thinking quickly Nessie picked out another video, "I Don't Wanna Be in Love."

Bella sniffled, "A Valentine's Day flick."


	15. Bella's Fear

Ok so there will most likely be one last chapter after this one. So thanks for reading and enjoy =D

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Edward POV-**

Thinking quickly Nessie picked out another video, "I Don't Wanna Be in Love."

Bella sniffled, "A Valentine's Day flick. In fact this was when we were in a big fight…actually Stacy and Clint along with Nicole and Kevin were fighting…I was Switzerland."

"Really?" I asked, "What was the fight about?"

"He said she said, not being appreciated. That stuff. The boys stuck together and the girls did too. So they fought and they were making me choose sides. So to get them back together I told them to meet me at the Valentine's Day Dance and I would tell them there. I, instead, sung and dedicated a song to them; which was that one," Bella took the tape from Nessie, "Actually let's not watch this one."

"Why not?" Alice asked.

"Because it get's mushy and everything turns back to normal. Really boring." Bella explained. But I could tell there was more to it so we all let the comment slide.

Jake looked in the box and saw another tape, "Bella's fear."

"Can we not play that one?" She asked. Seeing her uneasiness everyone got an evil smirk, "I guess we are." Wow if you could hear the thoughts of my family I never thought they could be so evil.

"You guessed right." Alice stated and through the tape in. I looked at my wife as she snuggled closely to me. This could be rather interesting.

_Stacy and Nicole appeared in the frame looking really excited, "Ok so we all know that Bells thinks she is all that and not afraid of anything!" Stacy said_

"_But we are going to prove otherwise. That she is not so almighty." Nicole stated._

"_Sorry Bells but payback is a bitch!" Stacy said._

"What did she mean by payback love?" I asked her

"Uhm…well…let's just say that playing truth or dare with happy stuff can be dangerous." Bella said not looking at me completely.

"Meaning?" Jasper asked

"Never tell Stacy to burn her closet of Lou Vuitton stuff and Gucci shoes."

"YOU HAD HER DO WHAT?" Alice and Rose screeched at Bella.

Bella hid her face in my shirt, "I'm sorry it was the happy substance that made me do it!"

Em and Jasper held the girls back from going after Bella as the tape continued to play.

_They were in the living room with Bella, Kevin, and Clint. The girls were in the frame also and they were watching TV. _

"_Man there is nothing good on." Stacy whined suddenly_

"_What are you talking about? You are the ones that wanted to watch this movie." Bella said pointing to the TV._

"_Yea but I've seen National Treasure like thirty times. There is only so much one person can handle Nicholas Cage solving a conspiracy mystery."_

"_Yea besides there is another good show on that we want to watch." Nicole said. _

_Before Bella could do anything the girls grabbed the remote as the guys held her down, "Hey what the hell are you doing?"Bella yelled_

"_This!" Stacy yelled as she switched the channel. Nicole grabbed the camera and…_

"NO!" My wife yelled as the video her yelled. On the TV was…

"Elmo?" We yelled

"That is your fear?" Emmett hollered at her

Bella had a death grip on me and said, "Turn it off! Please turn it off Daddy! I'll be a good girl I promise! I won't runaway anymore! I'll dump Edward if that'll make you happy! Just take it away!"

So we quickly grabbed the remote and turned the TV off. After a few minutes Bella sighed, "Is…is he gone?"

"Yes love Elmo is-" Bella covered my mouth and said in a deadly whisper, "Do not speak his name."

Every thought in the room was: 0.o'!

"Why…?" Rose asked perplexed

"There is a curse on his name…," Bella looked around the room and closed the curtains, "He'll know where we live."

"Ok then…I will be back." Jake said laughing mentally. I did not like where this is going at all…

"Mommy…why are you afraid of El-" Nessie started to ask but then was interrupted by Bella, "He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Name." "Riiiiight. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named."

"There is a reason why his fur is red sweetie." Bella said

"Aka you had a bad experience and now you are scared for life." Rose said

"Yup. That be true." Bella responded

"You need help." Rose stated

"Point of fact, no one can help me. If Dr. Phil couldn't no one can." Bella said

"So wait…you're a vampire now…wouldn't you be able to like I don't know…beat the crap out of you know who?" Emmett asked carefully.

Bella thought and said, "Maybe…I don't know. There was this one time we went to Sesame Place after this incident. Stacy, Nicole, Kevin, and Clint thought it would be funny if I got a hug from…well…it. So they pushed me into him and he hugged me…I beat the crap out of him. After that I found out that it was a guy in a costume."

We all stared at her like she had five heads, "How badly was the guy beaten up?" Carlisle asked

"Well uhm…let's say that the suite was torn and battered…the you know whose head had the eyes hanging by threads, the guy I think had a concussion and his ribs were bruised…let's make this simpler by saying if the guy was not in the suite then he would have been in the hospital for a year instead of six months…mental recovery was I think like three…four…years?" Bella responded and questioned at the end.

Again we stared…apparently she is not as innocent as she led me to believe, "Love why didn't you realize that it was a guy in a suite?"

"When I get like that in that the Elmophobia kicks in and well rational thoughts do not exist." Bella said.

"What made you afraid of El-" Esme started to ask but Bella winced and she fixed her mistake, "of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named?"

Bella thought and said, "When you are five and on youtube trying to search for videos of your favorite Sesame Street Character but instead find videos of them eating and killing children who just want a hug would make you afraid. Right?"

We shrugged, and let it go. Just then Jake came back with both hands behind his back, "Hey Bells I got something that will cheer you up." He was blocking me.

"Why are you blocking your mind?" I asked

"No reason. I do not want you to ruin the surprise." He said innocently…too innocently.

Bella sighed, "Oh Jake you didn't have to do that."

"Course I did. Seeing is how your husband isn't doing anything for you I figured I might. Wanna see it?"

Bella shrugged, "Sure why not."

"Ok…say hello to…." Slowly he pulled his hand from behind his back and, "ELMO!"

"GAHHHHHHHH!" Bella screamed jumping from my arms and running upstairs into my room. I heard crashes and bangs and all of a sudden I was seeing red…and it was not the Elmo hand puppet.

"YOU GOD DAMN MUTT!" I yelled not caring that Nessie was in the room I tackled Jake into the coffee table. I was beyond reason. We were rolling on the ground and he was beating me with the stupid hand puppet until…

"EDWARD!" I turned to see Bella jumping from the second floor landing to the foyer and running to me. I got off of Jake to catch her but she ran past me and through herself at Jake and threw him through the picture window.

"MY LIVING ROOM!" Esme yelled as Bella and Jake were fighting outside…and Bella was wining.

"MOMMY!" Nessie yelled trying to wiggle herself out of my grip.

"You best be getting off Jake's hand or I am going to toe-tag your ass!" Bella yelled as she was beating up the puppet, and much to my pleasure and amazement Jake in the process.

"Bella! Ouch! Hey! Stop!" Jake was yelling.

Finally she ripped the puppet off of his hand and he scrambled away. It laid there on the ground all battered and amazingly still in one piece that is until Bella pulled out a gun? "THIS ENDS NOW ELMO!" Then she started blasting the daylights out of it with 11 rounds. Once she was out she reloaded the gun saying casually, "You know they say that your first kill is supposed to be difficult. I found it easy…in fact rather fun."

We did not even bother moving as she started to shoot the puppet again this time kicking the crap out of it, "I AM A GOD DAMN VAMPIRE NOW ELMO! YOU DO NOT CONTROL ME! TAKE THIS! NO ONE GOES AFTER MY EDWARD LIKE THAT!" Then once she was out of bullets, she licked the gun. I would think this as sexy if it wasn't for the situation.

She gave the poor mangled puppet one more kick and walked off like nothing happened, "Now to freshen up." She said smiling.

We all just stared, everyone's thoughts were silent. Then Nessie took one more look at the puppet and at Jake, "You are so lucky that was not you in a suite."

"It was a good thing I didn't buy the suite." Jake said, "And just went with the puppet."

We all gathered around what use to be Elmo, "Should we give it a better resting place?" Jasper asked.

"Why it's just a damn puppet." Rose said

"I can't help it. It just looks so pathetic lying there." Jasper said.

Carlisle sighed got a shovel and dug a hole. This was the first…and hopefully the last funeral we have for a puppet.


	16. Closure and Promises

Ok so this will be the last chapter of "Fun Times in Phoenix". I just want to say thanks to all the people who put this story on their favorites list:

addict2blood, alicecullen1027, aquarius127, arianday94, bakahime123, BeebaS, Brittany009, ., Crazyluver08, dijah15, edward13bella4ever, immachris, Isabellamariesummer, Julia-loves-Seth-Clearwater, kellkell96, KhAndTwilightFan15, Little Angel of Love, Lizflo2003, mandamichelle, meggie43015, quinnguelos, Seth Imprint, sindose, TheFutureMrsAgger, TheWorldsMyOysterImThePearl, twilighter105, twin of doom, urock96, vampire-kitten454, xoKatixo, and xxoutcasted-talentxx

Now time to thank the people who put this story on their alerts:

addict2blood, alphachick98, aquarius127, arianday94, babybosn, Bellisle96, Breaking x Twilight, candyland 426, ., city bookworm, dazzleglo, edward13bella4ever, GeorgiaW97, iHeartChucks, immachris, Jazmine's Twilight Obsession, lestat00, Lizflo2003, Luck13y, lynn2008, MimiSmash, mkabalt, nilabeans, ORGirl-13, pinkdrama, Seth Imprint, Shadowlane Proudmoore, skyfalletta1, smileyface209, Teddy bear Cullen, TheFutureMrsAgger, Tomboy Amy, urock96, and xxoutcasted-talentxx

And of course all the people that reviewed! All of you guys are awesome! Thanks again for sticking with the story. I am planning to do another story to continue the "Fun Times" series but I don't know what it will be yet but what I am thinking is involving the Volturi in some way and perhaps a little of Bella's friends in Phoenix. Let me know if you guys have any requests.

Well without further ado here is the last and final chapter of "Fun Times in Phoenix"!

**Fun Times in Phoenix**

**Bella's POV-**

I came downstairs after washing up to find everyone sitting in the living room looking glum, "What's up guys?" I asked in a Bugsy Bunny like fashion.

Jasper looked at me looking like I kicked his puppy, "Why did you have to do it?"

"What are you talking about?" I asked

"Why did he have to die?" Jasper asked pointing outside.

I looked out in the backyard to see a headstone, "Uhm…"

"Oh Jasper it is a frickin puppet! We did the whole funeral shin-dig now leave it alone!" Rose yelled swatting him on the head with every emphasis on the words she was saying. I was surprised to see that Alice did not start defending her husband and why does she look pissed?

"But it was a defenseless puppet! He did not deserve that kind of cruel treatment!" Jasper yelled back trying to block her attacks.

Alice sighed and said, "All puppets are defenseless. They need people to move and talk."

"Yea and they are inanimate things therefore have no life." Jake supplied

"And I will admit that it was creepy." My daughter put in, "I mean all he has is a goldfish and babies on his show."

Edward shook his head and looked in the box, "There is one more disc do you wanna watch or not?"

Carlisle tore his eyes away from the bickering and asked, "What's the title?"

"Our Two Year Anniversary, September 8, 2001." Edward read not liking the sound of that.

"Wait there is a note attached," Nessie said reaching over and grabbed the envelope. She read the front and handed it to me, "Here Mommy."

I took it and before I opened it I heard Emmett exclaim randomly, "HEY I WASN'T THE ONE THAT GOT WHACKED BY MY WIFE FOR THE FIRST TIME! I WIN!"

This time silence fell on the room and he looked at us, "What it's true."

Rose smacked him, "There now you were officially smacked by me."

Emmett pouted, "But I liked not being smacked."

"Aw I am sorry." Rose kissed him and Emmett lit up like a little kid with candy. Edward pinched his nose.

"Ali am I forgiven?" Jasper asked pouting.

Alice groaned, "Fine." She kissed him, "There do you feel special now?"

Jasper nodded happily. And she mumbled, "Had to get into my black skirt and dress all beautiful for a damn puppet funeral." Oh so that was why she was pissed.

I laughed slightly to myself and I looked at the note again and I nearly froze up…it was in Chase's handwriting…but how?

"Wait Mommy here is another one. It looks like it fell off the CD." Nessie said giving it to me.

I saw it had Stacy's handwriting this time. I decided to open that one first. I opened it and walked to the window that now seemed to be fixed.

_Hey Bells,_

_I thought that you may want this. You see Chase's parents moved and no one has been in…well his room since the…you know what happened. Well while we were helping them, we found this along with a note that he wrote you to go with it. I guess it was your anniversary weekend the day of the carnival. _

_You don't have to watch it, but we just wanted you to have it in case you do. _

_Love,_

_Stacy, Clint, Nicole, and Kevin_

If I could be crying I would be right now, "Love?" I looked to see Edward and everyone staring at me in silence I shook my head and sat by him, "Go ahead."

He looked at me, concern evident in his golden orbs, "You sure Love?"

I nodded my head, "Yes. I am ready."

He opened the DVD player and placed the disc in.

_Chase appeared and he was smiling, "Hey Love! I know we said that we wouldn't do anything special this year since we have the carnival and all, but I couldn't help it. I mean our first year was great…and you know what I am talking about…my Chevrolet," He winked, "So I wanted to make a video about how much I love you and I wonder how much longer we can be together before we end up married…and if we do end up together I wonder if you still dream about me as much as I dream about you. So Isabella Marie Swan this is for you love!"_

_He started strumming his electric blue guitar and in the background Clint and Kevin were playing drums and bass. After a few chords Chase started to sing:_

_**What do you do**_

_**When it's falling apart**_

_**And you knew it was gone**_

_**From the very start**_

_**Do you close your eyes**_

_**And dream about me**_

_The image faded and there were different clips of us at dances, partying, me singing with him on the cafeteria tables with crowds cheering us on._

_**A girl in love**_

_**With a gleam in your eye**_

_**I was a younger boy**_

_**All dressed in white**_

_**We're older now**_

_**I bet you still think about me**_

_**I remember**_

_**We learned about love**_

_**In the back of a Chevrolet**_

_**Well it felt so good to be young**_

_**It feels like yesterday**_

_His image faded once again and more pictures of us appeared: planning with the "freedom fighters", us with "Charlie" the famous Chevy._

_**When you close your eyes, do you dream about me (x2)**_

_**I guess I don't know**_

_**What I'm thinking**_

_**Coming off**_

_**A hard night of drinking**_

_**Bells come closer to me**_

_**I need a soul to bleed on**_

_Like I would ever mention this to Edward, we did drink together often…mainly when our parents were not around but we had fun. There were more pictures and clips with us racing our cars: my mustang and his corvette, the winter formal, the international carnival from eighth grade. _

_**It coulda been done**_

_**In a different kinda way**_

_**But that ain't you**_

_**You play tough when you play**_

_**It's over now**_

_**I bet you still think about me**_

_Still true to this very day I still think about him…I never got the closer I needed. I did not fulfill my promise after all. I still close my eyes and I still see him. Him and Edward._

_**I remember**_

_**I held you so tight**_

_**And we danced the night away**_

_There were more dance pictures of us doing dances that would make anyone that is not flexible be in the hospital and there were some moves that I should have really covered Nessie's eyes, but I was too engrossed in the movie._

_**With the moves**_

_**Of two wide eyed kids**_

_**I need you so much today**_

_Did he not know how I needed him too? Did he not see up there that I need him so much?_

_**When you close your eyes, do you dream about me (x4)**_

_**I remember**_

_**We learned about love**_

_**In the back of a Chevrolet**_

_**No good for an old memory**_

_**To mean so much today**_

_He is wrong…that memory will always be good…my first love._

_**When you close your eyes, do you dream about me (x4)**_

_**When you close your eyes**_

_**Do you dream about me**_

_**When you go to sleep at night**_

_**Do you dream about me**_

_**When you close your eyes**_

_**Do you dream about me**_

_**When you close your big brown eyes**_

_**Do you dream about me**_

_When the song came to an end he looked into the camera and said, "Happy Two Year Anniversary Love. I love you and always will…Forever and Always."_

"Forever and Always." I whispered wishing I could have that tear roll down my face. I looked at his note and thought of something. I quickly blocked Alice from Edward as she had her vision and I was praying that no one noticed her.

She looked at me and I sighed, "Hey Edward."

"Yes Love?" He asked suspiously. Good he did not notice.

"I just thought of some errands that I have to run. I'll be back soon." I said getting up.

"What are you talking about love?" He asked.

"Yea where are you going? I wanted to fight you now that I saw all your cool ninja moves." Emmett complained.

I laughed, "Nothing to worry about," I said smoothing out his eyebrow, "I just to get out for a bit."

"Want me to come?" He asked.

I debated on telling him but I knew he would argue against this so instead I said, "No I will be ok. I'll be back soon."

Nessie came up to me and I blocked her from Edward too. She placed her hand on my cheek asking me if this had something to do with Chase.

"No honey." I said lying through my teeth now that I have gotten better at it, "I'll be back ok. Behave for Daddy."

"Ok Mommy." She hugged me and I walked out and ran to our cottage hearing Alice follow me to our garage where my slick black Lamborghini LP640.

"I so do not agree to this one bit." She said

"Ali I have to do this. I made a promise." I said

"And if it was that important then you would have done it when you first fell in love with my brother…unless-"

"Do not even go there Alice." I growled, "I do love Edward but I never got the closure I needed. Surely you understand that."

We stared at each other and I saw her resolve fading and she sighed. She ran into the house and came back with my keys, purse, cell phone, and a duffle bag with a long sleeved shirt, sunglasses, and a scurf, "You will need those since it is sunny in Phoenix."

"Alice I am going there when it is dark." I said

"I would rather you have it just to be safe." She looked at me and gave me a hug, "Come back soon. I will try to keep this from him for as long as I can. Now go."

I jumped in my car and sped off to get my closure.

**Alice POV-**

She was right. I did understand. I saw her making the decision. I knew that I was going to lose the argument. But what I did not see was her leaving the note from Chase and Edward reading it back at the house.

I ran home just as he opened it, "Edward you shouldn't have done that."

"Something about this is not right." He said and he read out loud:

_September 11_

_My Love,_

_If you are reading this then I guess you know that I am no longer here. You knew of my problems and I knew about yours. I did not mean to get back in the car. But I could not leave one of the most magical nights of my life to get crushed. I know that I had hurt you. I am sorry. Please forgive me and find someone else who could love you better than myself. And I hope that you keep your promise just like I would have kept mine:_

_Do not do anything stupid or rash. I am thinking of your mom and our friends. And remember me always. Lead a normal life and find someone new. And most importantly if it is not too much to ask: Please visit me._

_I know that you promised me before tonight about this but now I am asking you to do it. _

_Love forever and always,_

_Chase Clark Knight_

We all were in silence then Edward looked at me, "Alice?"

I am sorry Bella. I nodded knowing what he was going to ask next. Without a second thought we ran to the garage.

**Bella POV-**

The moon was shining as I inhaled the scent of the desert that I used to yearn so much. I looked around at the cemetery and then back to his grave. I was alone so I knelt to the ground and placed my flowers by his grave and started to clean it up a bit by removing the dead ones and some of the little weeds that started to surround it, "Well Chase I did what you asked. I found someone. He is just like you in so many ways. Sweet, caring, loyal, loving." And I started to tell him everything about what has happened: the good and the bad.

**Edward POV-**

We arrived when she did. I wanted to go over to her but Esme stopped me, "But mom she needs me." I said

"Honey remember when we went to Chicago? Remember how you were feeling?" She asked

I did. It was for a vacation…not a move. I had told Bella that I needed some closure and I spilled everything to them. She had let me go. It wasn't until morning when she came near me. I knew she was there watching me but left me alone.

I sighed but we listened quietly to what she was saying, "And we had a daughter Chase. Her name is Renesmee but her nickname is Nessie. You would have loved her…she really has the Freedom Fighter Spirit." But by this point her voice was starting to crack.

"Should we go over now?" Rose asked after a half hour later. The sun was starting to come up and it was bright.

I nodded and walked over there, "Love?"

"Edward?" Bella asked surprised and she hugged me.

"Come on Love…time to go." I said softly

She nodded, "Just one more minute." Turning back to the grave she said, "I am sorry I didn't keep my promise sooner. But this is Edward, Chase. You would have approved." She knelt down and kissed the stone, "I will always remember you and I promise I will visit soon. I love you."

She started to walk away to the family and I turned back to the grave and said, "I promise that I will take care of her…forever and always."


	17. AN: SQUEL AND SNEAK PEAK

Ok so due to a few reviews: I will be continuing the "Fun Times" Series. And thanks to a suggestion from mandamichelle, it will be called "Fun Times in Italy". Here is a small sneak peak as to where I...or rather our favorite characters are headed. Once again thanks to all of you who stuck with me and I hope you enjoy this story also.

**Fun Times in Italy**

**Edward POV-**

"Like no way! OMG HE DIDN'T…HE DID? LIKE OH MY GOD!" Yes, my wife was talking on the phone like a valley girl to Jane Volturi.

"Dude are you sure your wife is from Phoenix and not California?" Emmett asked.

"Yes Em I am sure."

"How the hell can she be friends with the…Volturi?" Rose spat out angrily.

"I do not know. She tries to see the good in everyone." I reasoned.

We all sat in the living room while Bella was lounging on the couch. It seemed like after watching her videos from Phoenix she is starting to act like what she used too…which is starting to become rather scary. I mean she is sprawled out on the couch twirling her hair with one finger! Who the hell is she? My wife…my love…my Bella never did that!

Jasper was starting to twitch while thinking, _**girly…way too much girly stuff going on over there…action figures…bugs…guy stuff…must think and feel guy stuff…EDWARD MAKE HER STOP!**_

I sighed and got up thanking god that Nessie was with Jake for the day and went to my wife, "Bella love?"

She groaned and said to Jane, "Hey Hun can like hold for a sec?" Turning to me she growled, "What?"

"Why don't we uhm…take a break from the phone and let someone else have it?" I suggested

She groaned and said, "Fine." Turning back to the phone she said, "Hey Jane I got to go. Someone thinks that I am spending too much time on the phone…yea I know right? Like WTH? Ok see you on FB…yea…oh wait what? Ok hold on," She sat up and said, "Carlisle?"

My father for all intense and purposes came downstairs in a flash, "Yes?"

"Here," Bella handed him the phone and he took it upstairs.

"Why the hell are you friends with the Volturi…I mean after all they did to you how can you be friends?" Rose growled at her.

"They are not that bad. Besides I gave them a little help in the anger management department." Bella said mischievously

"Love?"

"You do not want to know…even though the video on facebook is funny as hell."

Just then Carlisle came downstairs along with Esme, "Ok I know that you guys are not going to like this but we are taking a small vacation."

Emmett started to bounce up and down like a little kid at Christmas, "REALLY WHERE?"

Alice groaned and before I can read her mind she blocked me, "Do we have to?"

"Yes I was persuaded." Carlisle said rolling his eyes.

"But Carlisle-" Alice groaned

"No buts. Now pack your bags because we are going to Italy!" He said

"NO!" We all shouted in agony

"HELL YEA!" Came the loan cheer from my wife, "Come on Alice let's get packing!" And she dragged Alice who for once was complaining.

What the hell happened to my wife?


End file.
